Fire is catching, dear readers. And if we burn, celebrities burn with us! 

JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the Paris premiere
dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

YES, KATNISS, YES! Gimme all the goth-chic you’ve got, girl, because this is EVERYTHING. That sideboob/innerboob peek-a-boo situation is to die for. I love how this dress has a sort of hauntingly beautiful old-Hollywood feel, but with all the attitude and sex appeal of a fashion-forward look. The shoes are gorgeous, but I think by far the best styling choice J.Law’s team made here was that wine-colored lipstick. DELISH.

Also: fuck the haters of J.Law’s pixie cut. It’s not always flawless, but here, it’s fan-fucking-tastic.

LIAM HEMSWORTH, JENNIFER LAWRENCE, and JOSH HUTCHERSON at the Rome premiere
Liam and Josh’s suits by Dolce & Gabbana
Jennifer’s gown by Christian Dior, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Photo: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty

I can’t explain how difficult it was to find a photo of these three stars where they weren’t making ridiculous faces at each other or spinning around in each other’s arms. And nothing in the world makes me happier than that – that Liam, Jennifer, and Josh are total fucking goofballs who love each other and just want to spend fancy movie premieres making fun of each other. It’s just the best. Anyway, let’s get a close-up of our imaginary BFF Jennifer:

Photo: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty

The cut is phenomenal and the color is lovely. I know that little patch on the skirt looks like a mistake, but it actually is part of the design – I do wish it was a little bigger so it didn’t look quite so accidental. But otherwise, I’m out of complaints. This gown my Fall 2013 couture red carpet prediction for Marion Cotillard, because if it’s Dior, there’s like a 98% chance it will be worn by Jennifer Lawrence, Marion Cotillard, or Natalie Portman.

LIAM HEMSWORTH, JENNIFER LAWRENCE, and JOSH HUTCHERSON at the Madrid premiere
Liam’s suit by Dolce & Gabbana
Jennifer’s gown by Christian Dior, shoes by Anthony Vaccarello
Josh’s suit by Calvin Klein

Photo: Ipa/Bauer-Griffin

Live a little, boys! Don’t get me wrong, they’re positively delectable, but their sea of black and navy suits is getting a wee bit tiring. Even J.Law seems to have semi-phoned it in here: it’s still  Dior and it’s still lovely, but it definitely lacks the power of some of her more memorable looks. A close-up:

Photo: AP/Abraham Caro Marin

I don’t think the fit is entirely perfect, and the wrinkles in the sheer skirt make it look a lot sloppier than it should. But personally, I think the There’s Something About Mary hair is both hilarious and fabulous.

LIAM HEMSWORTH, JENNIFER LAWRENCE, and JOSH HUTCHERSON at the Los Angeles premiere
Liam’s suit by Christian Dior
Jennifer’s gown by Christian Dior, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Brian Atwood
Josh’s suit by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty

Josh, I’d stay away from three-piece suits if I were you. They tend to make you look even shorter, and more like an investment banker than a Hollywood star. As for Jennifer – I like the idea of this more than the execution. I hate sheer dresses over black leotards/mini-dresses as a rule, and I think this bodysuit is particularly unflattering (which is insane, because J.Law’s body is AMAZING). I do love the optical illusion texture in the skirt, which really is a joy to look at. But the proportions of the bodysuit underneath and the placement of the belt just don’t do it for me. But from some angles, this was red carpet glory. Case in point:

Photo: Eric Charbonneau/Invision/AP

BLAM-O. See? That sweeping, stunning skirt photographs like a dream, even if the rest of the dress leaves something to be desired.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the Rome photocall
dress by Proenza Schouler, shoes by Saint Laurent

Photo: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty

Simple and chic – perfect for a photocall.

ELIZABETH BANKS at the Los Angeles premiere
gown by Versace, purse by Rauwolf, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

GO ON AND GET IT, EFFIE MOTHER-FUCKING TRINKET. This is flawless, from color to fit to styling. It calls back to the bright colors she wore for the first film’s press tour without seeming redundant. It shows off Elizabeth’s ridiculously gorgeous figure, but it’s interesting and cool and so much more than your standard pretty-girl-in-a-pretty-dress look.

ELIZABETH BANKS at the Paris premiere
gown and purse by Alexander McQueen

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Love the little pops of rainbow in the otherwise black gown. The fringe at the hips might have been overkill, but girlfriend still looks deliciously fashion-forward.

ELIZABETH BANKS, SAM CLAFLIN, and JENA MALONE at the Oslo premiere
Elizabeth’s dress by Elie Saab, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Jena’s gown by Reem Acra

Photo: redcarpet-fashionawards.com

Only Effie Trinket can pair a sparkly emerald Elie Saab dress with matchy-matchy shoes and still make it look impeccably fabulous. And it’s a bit tough to see in this photo, but Jena Malone absolutely killed it in her black Reem Acra gown. In fact, after a slow start to the press tour, Catching Fire‘s Johanna blew my freaking mind with incredible fashion choices. For example:

JENA MALONE at the Los Angeles premiere
gown by Nicholas Oakwell, purse by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

My jaw hit the fucking FLOOR when I saw this look. Unique, almost obscenely glamorous, perfectly fit, and styled to perfection. The stick-straight hair brings such a ferocity to this look, which I love – the way this dress balances the glam of the metallic embellishments with the futuristic cut-outs and styling is just incredibly impressive. Say goodbye to Jena Malone, that cute and talented girl from Saved!, and say hello to Jena Malone, A-list movie star and red carpet goddess.

JENA MALONE at the Toronto premiere
dress by Dora Abodi, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: George Pimentel/WireImage

It’s a hard length to pull off, but she’s got that hipster-chicness that allows her to wear some quirkier silhouettes and prints, so I think this works. I don’t think it needed that extra little skirt over her knees, but everything else about this is unique and delightful.

JENA MALONE on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
dress by Mikael D, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Lifetime

A flawless look for a TV appearance. A sexy but classic dress that isn’t trying too hard, and a killer pair of shoes. That’s all she needs. Hell, it’s all any of us ever need.

KIERNAN SHIPKA at the Los Angeles premiere
top and skirt by Miu Miu, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: David Livingston/Getty

Kiernan Shipka at the Catching Fire premiere? The red carpet gods have been too good to me. And my tween role model looked every bit her chic-as-hell self, in demure but fun Miu Miu. Kiernan’s a smart, classy lady, so she knew not to attempt to divert attention from the actual stars of the film, but she still looked perfectly put-together. And those shoes? I mean, I can’t even imagine being able to properly appreciate those shoes at her age, when I was more into brightly colored sneakers than anything else. That’s some DELECTABLE footwear right there, dear readers.

WILLOW SHIELDS at the Los Angeles premiere
gown by Katie Ermilio

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

I was very pleasantly surprised to see little Prim in such a modern, of-the-moment look. Katie Ermilio was not a designer I was familiar with until maybe six months ago, when celebrities suddenly started wearing the label nonstop. This sort of “Beauty and the Beast on acid” gown actually works incredibly well on Willow, especially with the otherwise low-key styling. It’s easy to look like you’re playing dress-up when you’re a thirteen-year-old girl in a gown, but Willow makes it work.

LENNY KRAVITZ and ZOE KRAVITZ at the Los Angeles premiere
Lenny’s jacket, shirt, and pants by Saint Laurent
Zoe’s dress, jewelry, and shoes by Balenciaga

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

Aw, I love that Lenny brought his daughter as his date to the premiere. He looks as ridiculously cool as ever – has this man aged at all since the 1990s? – and she is working some major Fashion Bitch style in head-to-toe Balenciaga.

META GOLDING at the Los Angeles premiere
gown by Georges Hobeika

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

Catching Fire‘s Enobaria is drop-dead gorgeous, but stealing a dress from Helen Mirren and cutting an obscenely high slit into it does not a red carpet ensemble make. And the shoes and earrings feel kind of dated, and don’t go particularly well with the rest of the look.

META GOLDING at the Madrid premiere
dress by Loewe

Photo: Carlos Alvarez/Getty

I wikipedia-ed Meta Golding to read more about this starlet . . . and discovered she’s forty-two years old. Seriously. I might not love her red carpet style, but this woman clearly has a fountain of youth hidden somewhere. Or she’s a vampire. Let’s go with that.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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Mornings are hard. Let’s all agree to inject coffee directly into our bloodstreams and start judging.

DIANE KRUGER in Berlin
gown by Valentino

Photo: Britta Pedersen/EPA/Landov

The best thing about this jaw-droppingly gorgeous gown isn’t even how beautiful it is. It’s that it’s mid-December, and celebrities have every right to have given up on 2013 and started their tropical private island vacations (or whatever it is rich people do for the holidays). This time of year, it would be perfectly acceptable for all of Hollywood to close its doors and for all the starlets to switch to resort street style as they strut down the St. Barts’ beaches. But, red carpet badass that she is, Diane Kruger was all, “I’m NOT ending 2013 without showing the world at least one more spectacularly gorgeous couture gown on my spectacularly gorgeous body.” And so we get to spend our morning sipping (read: chugging) our coffees and basking in the glow of her unstoppable beauty. (And I get to edit my 2013 Best Dressed post to include this gown. Because how could I not?)

NAOMIE HARRIS in London
gown by Alexander McQueen

Photo: Jon Furniss/Invision/AP

You’ll definitely see Mandela star Naomie Harris make an appearance on my Best Dressed of 2013 post. (If you’re feeling nostalgic, relive the best of 2012 here.) This relative newcomer to the red carpet has been an absolute joy to watch on this press tour – she’s all grace and elegance and total fabulosity. She’s also got arms that would put even Michelle Obama’s flawless biceps to shame. Plus, she’s wearing a bedazzled peplum, AND PULLING IT OFF. That’s absolutely unheard of.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE in New York City
top and pants by Marc Jacobs

Photo: PA

Were you sad that the Catching Fire press tour was over? Luckily, Jennifer Lawrence apparently does not require sleep, because she’s back on the red carpet circuit promoting American Hustle. (I absolutely cannot wait to see that movie, if only for the 1970s outfits. Navel-grazing plunging necklines on Amy Adams, big hair and cigarettes for Jennifer Lawrence, and Bradley Cooper in hair curlers? Fashion-wise, this movie is going to be FLAWLESS.) As usual, J.Law makes her crop top and lady-pants look effortlessly fierce and ridiculously chic. And her shoes? I want to weep, they’re so fucking fabulous.

AMY ADAMS, CHRISTIAN BALE, JENNIFER LAWRENCE, BRADLEY COOPER, and JEREMY RENNER in New York City
Amy’s dress by Antonio Berardi, Jennifer’s dress by Alexander McQueen, Bradley’s shirt by Todd Snyder, Jeremy’s jeans by J Brand

Photo: Starpix/JustJared

Let’s do this quick and dirty. Amy: that dress fits you like a glove, and your tits look spectacular. Christian: you look like a lumberjack on date night. Jennifer: the dress is pretty enough, but if it weren’t for the bright color, you’d be totally outshined by Amy. Bradley: you have hit the point of diminishing returns on self-tanning. Jeremy: I dig your peacoat.

AMY ADAMS in New York City
gown by Elie Saab, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Gregorio T. Binuya/Everett

Gorgeous. I probably wouldn’t have advised wearing her hair down with a dress that has such a beautiful and interesting neckline. And the straight hair combined with the headband have a prep school cheerleader vibe that I don’t think works particularly well with this gown. But I’m being unreasonably picky – this gown is a work of art, and Amy looks spectacular in it.

AMY ADAMS in New York City
dress by Altuzarra, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Rex

The dress seems a shade too tight and too long, no? Also, a movie like American Hustle can handle some real absurd, over-the-top shit for the red carpet premieres, so let’s move beyond the black pumps and have some fun, okay?

BRADLEY COOPER in New York City
coat by Vivienne Westwood, pants by Todd Snyder, shoes by Red Wing

Photo: Rob Kim/Getty

I WORSHIP this coat. I could write a sonnet about those asymmetrical pockets, but I’ll spare you that torture.

CATE BLANCHETT in Dubai
jumpsuit by Givenchy, purse by Roger Vivier

Photo: Getty

Cate Blanchett’s skin is SO BEAUTIFUL, you guys. Is she actually made of porcelain? I mean, I’m pale too, but my skin is more of the “speckled by beauty marks and freckles and blemishes and God knows what else” type, whereas Cate’s is more “glowing with an unearthly, magical beauty that mere mortals simply do not possess.” Also, she’s working the shit out of this jumpsuit. I think the purse is actually gold, and the red is just a reflection of the carpet, but even if it’s just a trick of the light, that pop of red looks fantastic, doesn’t it?

MARION COTILLARD at the Marrakech Film Festival
dress by Christian Dior

Photo: Dominique Charriau/Getty

If it were just a hair tighter and maybe an inch shorter, this would probably be one of my favorite Marion looks EVER. But without a perfect fit, this is just a very fancy toga.

MARION COTILLARD at the Marrakech Film Festival
gown by Preen

Photo: Stephane Cardinale/Corbis

Do you think part of Marion’s deal with Dior is that if she wears something not  by Dior, it has to look like a ridiculous tablecloth, thus making all her Dior outfits look better by comparison? That, at least, would explain this completely insane outfit.

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH in Berlin
suit and tie by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: WENN

Your velvet blazer is yummy, Benedict, but it’s a bit snug and short in the sleeves, making you look like an overgrown schoolboy.

ZOE SALDANA in Miami
jacket by Lanvin, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Sergi Alexander/Getty

Do you even understand how quickly this outfit would be covered in coffee stains if I were to wear it? Even if I had a personal assistant to carry most of my shit and attack me with Tide-To-Go pens every half hour like clockwork, I still would never be able to wear this much white. Anyway, while Zoe looks fabulous here because she’s Zoe, I feel like she’s phoning it in. I’ve seen so many deliciously sharp monochromatic suits from her that this one just feels like an empty gesture.

REESE WITHERSPOON in Los Angeles
dress by Diane von Furstenberg, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

Photo: John Shearer/Invision/AP

It’s kind of endearing how little edge Reese Witherspoon has, isn’t it? Even after having a diva meltdown when the cops pulled over her husband, she still comes off as sugary-sweet. If she were anyone else, I’d beseech her to inject some much-needed coolness into her wardrobe, but who am I kidding? It’s Reese Witherspoon. She doesn’t need to be cool. (And probably couldn’t pull it off if she tried.)

ANNA KENDRICK in Washington, D.C.
gown by Elie Saab, purse by Rauwolf

Photo: Greg Allen/Invision/AP

I don’t know why my invitation to the Kennedy Center Honors event keeps getting lost in the mail, but I can promise you, I would have showed up in a much more interesting gown than Anna Kendrick. Don’t get me wrong, this is a vast improvement over much of what she’s worn in the past, but this is about as expected as can be. It elongates her 5’2″ frame significantly, which is an achievement, but it feels kind of dated, and it doesn’t look nearly as expensive as I’m sure it is.

SANDRA BULLOCK in Tokyo
dress by Roland Mouret

Photo: Jun Sato/WireImage

Hard to see the details that actually make this a decent look, but if you look closely, you’ll see some absolutely killer seaming in that bodice. But Sandra needs to retire the basic little red dresses ASAP. They’re becoming a security blanket for her.

SANDRA BULLOCK in Tokyo
dress by Carolina Herrera, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

Photo: Masatoshi Okauchi/Rex

Pretty, and the floral embellishment coming out of the bottom is quite lovely, but this is still a little underwhelming for me.

MICHELLE WILLIAMS in Miami
gown by Louis Vuitton

Photo: Dominique Charriau/Getty

There was a time, about a year and a half ago, when Michelle Williams was the queen of the red carpet. She was everywhere, all the time, looking hipster-fabulous in the most twee gowns you’ve ever seen. I don’t know if I got sick of all that precociousness, or if she’s changed stylists, but I haven’t seen her live up to that level of fabness in a very, very long time. This Louis Vuitton gown is depressing and strange. The tassels on the bottom? I mean, was Marc Jacobs joking when he sent this down the LV runway? He didn’t actually intend for people to wear tassels around their ankles on formal dresses, right? Please?

NOOMI RAPACE in Berlin
gown by Givenchy

Photo: Clemens Bilan/Getty

For something as expensive and exquisite as Givenchy, this sure looks like random crap Noomi found at a thrift store, doesn’t it? (And not in a good way.)

KATY PERRY in London
gown by Versus Versace

Photo: James Whatling/Splash News

Pink leopard print should not exist outside of Lisa Frank trapper-keepers from the 1990s. And now that it’s been more than six months since the punk-themed Met Gala, I think these decidedly non-punk starlets can quit it with the fucking safety pins already. We get it.

LADY GAGA in London
suit and necklace by Versace

Photo: Stuart C. Wilson/Getty

I like to look for original sources of inspiration when I style my hair too, Gaga. But maybe “Albus Dumbledore on a Jamaican vacation” wasn’t really the best choice for you.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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Welcome back to the Golden Globes! 

Best Dressed: CATE BLANCHETT
gown by Armani Privé, earrings by Chopard

Photo: Kevork Djansezian/NBC

There are few things on earth more filled with ethereal beauty than Cate Blanchett’s wardrobe. (Maybe a field full of unicorns, but only maybe.) True to form, the stunning actress absolutely killed it in this black lace dream of a gown. And the earrings – oh, the earrings! They might each be worth the gross domestic product of a small country and they STILL don’t look over-the-top on Cate. THAT’S HOW GLAM SHE IS. And things only got better from behind:

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

The English language has yet to invent a word for how other-worldly beautiful the back of this gown is. That random lady with the Chanel purse touching her butt is like, the luckiest assistant on earth.

Runner-Up: NAOMI WATTS
gown by Tom Ford

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

From the chain neckline to the subtle cut-outs, Naomi Watts’s gorgeous Tom Ford gown was a little bit punk and a whole lot of gorgeous. Love the gold accessories – she’s just sparkling from head to toe, and not in a lame Twilight vampire kind of way.

Honorable Mention: AMY POEHLER
gown by Stella McCartney, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

What is there to say about national treasure Amy Poehler? She looked flawless. She and Tina were marvelous hosts. She finally, FINALLY won a Golden Globe for Leslie Knope. She made out with Bono. This bitch is living the dream.

MARGOT ROBBIE
gown by Gucci, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Wolf of Wall Street star Margot Robbie solidified herself as a red carpet commodity with this mind-blowingly fierce Gucci gown. The emerald embellishments are crazy glamorous, and although I’m usually not one for too much matchiness, the emerald shoes tie the look together beautifully. I think the high slit is sexy enough to overcome the potential bridesmaid effect the shoes could have had. Kudos for the classic but stunning diamond earrings and ring. It’s an utterly polished look.

USHER
tuxedo, shirt, bow tie, and shoes by Calvin Klein

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

An eggplant tux and a diamond brooch? Usher might be doing red carpet fashion better than anyone else on the planet right now.

EMMA THOMPSON
gown by Lanvin

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

An absolutely perfect look for Emma Thompson, who held her shoes in one hand and her drink in the other while on stage at the Globes, because she’s a living legend. We can all only aspire to be this awesome and beautiful at any age.

ELSA PATAKY and CHRIS HEMSWORTH
Elsa’s gown by Paule Ka, Chris’s jacket by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

Do you think if I ask very nicely, Thor will let me borrow his velvet jacket? Because that thing is fabulous.

KERRY WASHINGTON
gown and purse by Balenciaga, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

In case you were curious, yes, Kerry Washington is as beautiful pregnant as she was before, if not more so. I don’t think this gown photographed particularly well, but she looked like a goddess on camera.

TAYLOR SWIFT
gown by Carolina Herrera

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

Probably one of my favorite Taylor Swift looks of all time, solely because I didn’t see it coming (i.e., it’s not covered in glitter and it doesn’t immediately make me think of Disney princesses). The train was way too long, and she could have used a necklace, but the faux bob looks pretty damn great on her.

ADÉLE EXARCHOPOULOS
gown by Miu Miu

Photo: Gilbert Flores/BroadImage

I love the ombre beading at the bottom of this gown, but those cups are a mess.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
gown by Christian Dior, purse by Roger Vivier

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

Well, it’s official. Two consecutive press tours, one for a franchise box office hit and the other for a star-studded awards darling, and Jennifer Lawrence has finally run out of Dior gowns. It’s time to get her out of that contract, because this was a whole lot of nothing.

BRADLEY COOPER
tuxedo by Tom Ford

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Cute, even if there is nothing lamer than pointing at the camera when you’re a legitimate movie star. Leave that move to suburban dads, Bradley.

ZOOEY DESCHANEL
gown and shoes by Oscar de la Renta, jewelry by Neil Lane, purse by Charlotte Olympia

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

Zooey Deschanel hit the Globes looking like a very fancy American Girl doll. I don’t hate this look – it’s the best thing she’s worn in awhile, and it was my red carpet prediction for Elizabeth Olsen, but the styling makes it all look so fussy.

TATIANA MASLANY
gown by Jenny Packham, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by L.K. Bennett

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

A good effort, but it would have been a thousand times better in a color, and with a slightly better fit.

SANDRA BULLOCK
gown by Prabal Gurung

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Points for trying to wear something interesting, but this was a risk that did not pay off for dear Sandy.

KATE BECKINSALE
gown by Zuhair Murad, purse by Edie Parker

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

This is literally the only thing I have ever seen Kate Beckinsale wear.

LENA DUNHAM
gown by Zac Posen

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

I have a feeling the fit on this gown is actually perfect, but Lena doesn’t know how to stand up straight in it. A shame, because I love her in this obnoxiously bright yellow, but nothing on the red carpet looks good without good posture.

LESLIE MANN
gown by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: John Shearer/Invision/AP

Surprisingly tame coming from Leslie Mann, who tends to come up with something creative for big events like this. But from the lace to the mermaid shape to the peplum, this was just a combination of trends we’ve seen before.

DREW BARRYMORE
gown by Monique Lhuillier, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Roger Vivier

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

I veto this. And she doesn’t even get a Pregnancy Freebie, because Kerry Washington and Olivia Wilde both sported baby bumps and looked fabulous doing it, so Drew’s got no excuse.

KALEY CUOCO
gown by Rani Zakhem

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Creepy prom dress.

KATE MARA
gown by J. Mendel

Photo: John Shearer/Invision/AP

It’s time for some hard truths, Kate: First of all, you are not pulling off that blonde hair. You just aren’t. Second, if you’re going to bring out the girls for a major awards show, you need to do it in a fabric that doesn’t look like it came from the American Apparel line of cheap-ass textiles.

Worst Dressed: PAULA PATTON
gown by Stéphane Rolland

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

I would question her sanity, but she’s married to Robin Thicke, so I think the ship has kind of sailed on that issue.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Welcome back to the Oscars, dear readers!

Best Dressed: CATE BLANCHETT
gown by Armani Privé, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

No one else in an embellished beige/blush/otherwise-colorless gown even came close to Cate Blanchett – and there were a LOT of bitches trying to rock that trend on Sunday night. This lovely lady looked as exquisite as ever, in a dress just perfectly suited to her and flawless styling. The earrings alone are worthy of a sonnet, and brought a punch of glam to Cate’s signature ethereal beauty. As far as Cate and Lupita were concerned, the theme of the Oscars was clearly, “if you want to win, you better fucking dress like a winner.”

Runner-Up: KATE HUDSON
gown by Atelier Versace

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

Color me shocked, but I LOVED Kate Hudson’s look. Sophisticated and sexy; the plunging neckline brought a nice balance of youthfulness to those stunning shoulders, which could have ended up looking a bit matronly. Like basically everyone else on the red carpet, the hair was a bit of a bore, but Kate worked the hell out of this gown.

Honorable Mention: JARED LETO
tuxedo by Saint Laurent

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

I heard Jared Leto’s hair is insured for $10,000. And if it’s not, it should be, because that ‘do is DELISH. Mere mortals might look like a cater-waiter in this get-up, but Jared was effortlessly cool and chic in his white Saint Laurent jacket and red bow tie. The boy was positively glowing all night long, and it was about as endearing as can be.

PENÉLOPE CRUZ
gown by Giambattista Valli, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

I think the train of the skirt might also be the wrap on her arm, which is sort of confusing and silly, but isn’t she just breathtaking? The draping is perfect, and those earrings are to die for.

SANDRA BULLOCK
gown by Alexander McQueen, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

A tad underwhelming, but also maybe the best Sandra Bullock has ever looked. The gorgeous curls in her hair definitely helped – she’s been rocking the stick-straight blowout for too long, so this was a refreshing change. And the trendy ear cuff was a great choice, though the simple strapless cut of this dress is crying out for a necklace.

CAMILA ALVES
gown by Gabriela Cadena

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

Tough to photograph, but she looked positively angelic on television.

OLIVIA WILDE
gown by Valentino, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

Olivia and her fetus absolutely rocked this Valentino gown. It seemed too simple from the front, and I don’t actually love the jewelry, but the view from the back is everything:

Photo: Mavrix

Blam. That little pop of white is just lovely, and the cut-out in back injects some youth and fun into the look.

JASON SUDEIKIS
tuxedo by Prada

Photo: Jeff Vespa/WireImage

Jason Sudeikis looked delicious as can be on Olivia’s arm, working a gorgeous blue suit and a beard I totally want to make out with.

MERYL STREEP
gown by Lanvin

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Effortless, chic, and not particularly attention-grabbing: it’s Meryl’s style at its absolute best.

KRISTIN CHENOWETH
gown by Roberto Cavalli

Photo: Robyn Beck/Getty

I don’t think it’s the best silhouette for such a tiny little lady, but I love that Cheno showed up looking like an Oscar herself.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
gown by Christian Dior, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: J.Law needs to get the fuck out of that Dior contract. They’ve given her so many completely unremarkable gowns, and a few downright terrible looks. This is a completely forgettable look – the peplum has been done to death, and this isn’t even an interesting take on that played-out trend. The red reminded me of her first-ever Oscars gown, which I loved to death, but even though that gown was so simple, it felt much more new and interesting than this one. I get that Charlize Theron is the one in all those ridiculously obnoxious Dior commercials on TV, and so she needs a perfect gown for Oscar night as well. But maybe, just maybe, Dior could have saved something worthwhile for the goddamn Oscar nominee.  JENNIFER, YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Also, this can’t be blamed on Dior, but that hair ages her about ten years. This might be the first time she’s actually looked the age she was supposed to be playing in American Hustle.

PORTIA DE ROSSI
gown by Naeem Khan

Photo: Lucas Jackson/Reuters/Landov

Hair that ages people at least a decade must have been another trend at the Oscars, because I didn’t even recognize Portia with this ‘do. Everything below the hairline is pretty fabulous, but the jewelry and purse were a bit distracting when paired with a dress that already had so much going on.

ANGELINA JOLIE
gown by Elie Saab

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

Yawn. I mean, at least it’s not black, and she looks heavenly in it, but YAWN.

BETTE MIDLER
gown by Reem Acra

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

Bette Midler’s 68-year-old cleavage is the wind beneath my wings. YOU GO AND GET IT, BETTE. YOU LOOK FABULOUS.

LAURA DERN
gown by Alberta Ferretti

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

It’s a nothing color, and I think that little swoop at the bottom of the bodice is kind of strange, but the slightly distressed effect of the skirt is working for me.

JENNIFER GARNER
gown and purse by Oscar de la Renta

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

At least it’s a little more silvery than colorless, so this look ever-so-slightly distinguished itself from the rest of the pack. Love the fringe. Hate the platforms and the cut of the bodice.

MARGOT ROBBIE
gown by Saint Laurent

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

I didn’t even recognize Margot Robbie, who was a blonde the last time I saw her. This look is somehow incredibly severe and incredibly boring at the same time.

SARAH PAULSON
gown by Elie Saab, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo, jewelry by Piaget

Photo: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP

I may throw up the next time I see a gown that looks like this. Don’t get me wrong – if there weren’t a dozen other stars in painfully similar gowns, I’d love this (except for the length – it needs to be shortened an inch or two). But I can maybe never look at a colorless embellished gown again without projectile vomiting all over my laptop.

Worst Dressed: EMMA WATSON
gown by Vera Wang, purse by Anya Hindmarch

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Let me preface this by saying I basically worship Emma Watson, and even this outfit can’t make her look anything less than gorgeous. But FUCK THIS OUTFIT, you guys. It’s not remotely interesting or beautiful, the fit is absolutely awful, and even Emma’s stunning makeup and almost absurdly endearing personality cannot make up for whatever the fuck is happening on top of her head.

Need more Oscars? Catch up on Part 1, and check back soon for coverage of the fabulous Oscars after-parties.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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There’s no rest for the red carpet weary, dear readers. Round 1 continues with four fierce new match-ups.  

NAOMIE HARRIS vs. CARA DELEVINGNE

Naomie’s top and skirt by Calvin Klein; Cara’s top, pants, purse, and shoes by Burberry

NAOMIE: Oh, shit.

CARA: What?

Naomie’s dress by Naeem Khan, purse by Zagliani, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Cara’s suit by Mulberry

NAOMIE: Nothing! I just – ugh, I really did not want to go up against you of all people, Cara.

CARA: Why not, love? I’m a rather excellent person to have a fashion battle with, you know.

Naomie’s dress by Chanel; Cara’s suit and blouse by Saint Laurent

NAOMIE: That’s the problem! How am I supposed to stand a chance against Cara Delevingne’s famous eyebrows?

CARA: Well, basic bitches cannot compete with me, it’s true. But you’re beautiful and fabulous, Naomie. Don’t worry so much.

Naomie’s gown by Valentino, purse by Rauwolf; Cara’s gown and purse by Burberry

NAOMIE: Oh, I’m not WORRIED. I’m just trying to think of the best way to pluck off your eyebrows when you’re not looking.

CARA: WHAT?!

Naomie’s gown by Alexander McQueen; Cara’s gown by Burberry

NAOMIE: You heard me. Now run along, before someone drops a pair of tweezers on you.

CARA: HOW DARE YOU. Thank goodness Anna Wintour made me insure my eyebrows for half a million dollars.

MARION COTILLARD vs. EMMA WATSON

Marion’s dress and shoes by Christian Dior; Emma’s dress by Chanel, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

MARION: Bonjour, Ms. Watson!

EMMA: Hi, Marion. Tell me, don’t you get tired wearing the same designer practically every day for an entire year?

Marion’s dress and shoes by Christian Dior; Emma’s dress by Maxime Simoëns, shoes by Proenza Schouler

MARION: Not when that designer is Dior, darling. French girls simply cannot go wrong in Dior.

EMMA: It just seems exhausting, that’s all. Between you and Jennifer Lawrence and Charlize Theron, is there really enough Dior to go around?

Marion’s dress and shoes by Christian Dior; Emma’s dress and shoes by J. Mendel

MARION: Honey, there doesn’t need to be enough to go around. There just needs to be enough for me. You think I let anyone else get near Dior’s sparkliest dresses with pockets? Non. Those are all mine.

EMMA: Well, all’s fair in love, war, and dresses with pockets, so that sounds reasonable enough to me.

Marion’s dress and shoes by Christian Dior; Emma’s gown by Prabal Gurung

MARION: Oh, and a bit of advice from a much more famous star: give that hair a little height. The higher the hair, the closer to God, and God is the one who decides who gets Academy Awards, after all.

EMMA: It’s cute that you think you’re more famous than I am. Bitch, I am HERMIONE FUCKING GRANGER. There is no out-faming me.

Marion’s gown by Christian Dior; Emma’s gown by Chanel

MARION: Oh, fine. Play the stubborn, sullen child. It’ll just make me even more lovely and elegant by comparison.

EMMA: Psh. In your dreams, Marion.

KARLIE KLOSS vs. JENA MALONE

Karlie’s top and skirt by Cushnie et Ochs, shoes by Gucci; Jena’s dress by Mikael D, shoes by Christian Louboutin

KARLIE: OMGZ IT’S JOHANNA MASON.

JENA: Hmm? Oh, yeah, I play Johanna in Catching Fire. Fabulous to meet you, Karlie!

Karlie’s dress by Prabal Gurung; Jena’s dress and purse by Valentino, shoes by Casadei

KARLIE: DO YOU HAVE ANY AXES? Do you have like a teeny tiny little fold-up axe in that clutch?

JENA: … Are you okay? You seem a tiny bit psychotic. And I don’t think teeny tiny little fold-up axes actually exist.

Karlie’s dress by Jason Wu; Jena’s gown by J. Mendel

KARLIE: C’mon, victor from the lumber district! I know you’re hiding an axe somewhere!

JENA: Okay. You know I’m not actually Johanna, right? I just play her in a movie? You know, like actors do?

Karlie’s gown by Louis Vuitton; Jena’s gown by Monique Lhuillier

KARLIE: Oh, get out of here with that false modesty. Nobody wears a gown like that unless they’ve spent some time traipsing around the Capitol, Johanna.

JENA: MY NAME ISN’T JOHANNA. And you aren’t exactly helping all those “models are dumb” stereotypes, Karlie.

Karlie’s gown by Cushnie et Ochs; Jena’s gown by Nicholas Oakwell, purse by Jimmy Choo

KARLIE: Models are NOT dumb! Now, tell me – did you and Finnick used to be an item? What’s the deal with that?

JENA: Aw, honey. It’s a good thing you’re pretty.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE vs. FREIDA PINTO

Jennifer’s top and pants by Marc Jacobs; Freida’s dress by Rachel Roy, purse by Thalé Blanc, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

JENNIFER: Let’s just get this over with – I’m not Katniss. Don’t call me Katniss. Okay?

FREIDA: Um, sure. I wasn’t going to, but whatever. Psycho.

Jennifer’s top and skirt by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Freida’s suit and purse by Gucci

JENNIFER: I’m not a PSYCHO, I’m just trying to avoid yet another round of GIRL ON FIRE!!! references, okay? That shit gets old.

FREIDA: Oh, yes, I can see how being the star of a multi-million dollar movie franchise can be categorized as “shit that gets old.”

Jennifer’s dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Stuart Weitzman; Freida’s gown by Salvatore Ferragamo

JENNIFER: Can you stop making me sound like such an asshole? Karlie Kloss just spent ten minutes asking Jena Malone if she has an axe in her purse! I’m just trying to move things along, okay?

FREIDA: FINE.

Jennifer’s dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Brian Atwood; Freida’s gown by Gucci

JENNIFER: GREAT. Thank you.

FREIDA: So, does Johanna actually have an axe in her purse, or what?

Jennifer’s gown by Christian Dior; Freida’s gown by Sanchita, purse by Swarovski, shoes by Jimmy Choo

JENNIFER: I CAN’T EVEN WITH YOU BITCHES.

FREIDA: Jeez. Fine. It was just a question.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Ah, the Academy Awards after-parties, where the stars get drunker and the hemlines get shorter. Let’s discuss the best looks you didn’t see on Oscar night.

LUPITA NYONG’O
gown by Miu Miu, headband by Fred Leighton

Photo: Venturelli/Getty

There’s no better accessory in the world than a freshly-won Oscar. Not even that headband – and I do LOVE that headband. Anyway, Lupita has been downright killing it in all things Miuccia Prada lately, and that winning streak continued with this perfect column gown. The straps are my favorite – they almost look like they belong on a heavy-duty sports bra, but somehow, in a fabulous way. The neckline is really interesting, the green embellishments are lovely, and Lupita is just glowing in that “I JUST WON MY FIRST FUCKING OSCAR AND YOU CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!” sort of way.

CHANEL IMAN
gown by Zuhair Murad

Photo: Getty

Is Chanel Iman gunning for a movie role? Because this model showed up looking every bit the A-list actress in her jaw-droppingly sexy Zuhair Murad gown. That color is a dream on her, and being a model, she’s got the almost obscenely tall-and-thin body that a dress like this demands. That neckline would be a mess on a shorter gal, as would the cut-outs on the hips. But Chanel is just perfectly divalicious in this look, and her hair is absolutely lovely.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
dress by Tom Ford

Photo: AFF-USA

PLEASE, TOM FORD, I AM BEGGING YOU. Dress J.Law for the awards shows themselves, and not just the after-parties. She looks so fucking delicious in the label’s modern, sexy, slightly androgynous-robot-looking styles – they’re much more suited to her fun-loving 21st century aesthetic than the stuffier, old-fashioned gowns Dior is always pushing at her. Bonus: she can even walk in this dress! What a concept!

DIANE KRUGER
dress by Valentino, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Gilbert Flores/Broadimage

Gorgeous. Doing all black accessories, but in different textures? That was a stroke of styling genius. The breathtakingly delicate lace of dress is even more beautiful when juxtaposed with the embellished clutch and the shiny, patent-leather-looking pumps. And the earrings are a blast.

EMMY ROSSUM
gown by Monique Lhuillier

Photo: Getty

A better gown for the Oscars than for an after-party, but I still think it’s a fantastic look. Emmy looks like the world’s most fashionable ballerina. I normally hate mullet skirts, but this one works perfectly. Every detail, from the sleeves to the shoes to the wine-colored lipstick, is just spectacular.

EMMA ROBERTS
dress by Fendi, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Super-fun. The glittering silver clutch reads as a little Christmassy when paired with the red dress, but everything else about this is pretty damn flawless. I even love the shoes, and you know I’m not usually one for the matchy-matchy thing. But the lips, dress, and shoes all in that same shade of bright orangey-red? It just looks so terrifically pulled-together. And those earrings? A dream come true.

ELIZABETH BANKS
top and skirt by Jenny Packham, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

I’d hate this on literally anyone else, and even Elizabeth Banks sort of looks like a very fancy Muppet, but for some reason, I LOVE IT ON HER. Am I insane? Probably. But it doesn’t look like anything I’ve seen before, and Effie Trinket’s got the fashion skills to pull it off.

NAOMIE HARRIS
gown by Naeem Khan, purse by Edie Parker

Photo: Rex

A dream of a gown. She needed to amp up the hair, which looks sadly pedestrian, but everything else is gorgeous. Naomie’s another one of those actresses who I only learned about in the last year or so, but whom I have worshipped every time she’s hit the red carpet since then. This girl can fucking DRESS.

EVAN RACHEL WOOD
gown by Elie Saab

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

This stunning couture gown was my Fall 2013 prediction for Jessica Chastain. The lovely Evan Rachel Wood is head-to-toe old Hollywood glamour, from the fingercurl waves to the glitzy fringe-like bottom of the gown. She’s pretty damn spectacular.

TAYLOR SWIFT
gown by Julien Macdonald, purse by Emm Kuo

Photo: Jon Kopaloff/WireImage

It’s traditional Taylor, but in black instead of her preferred whites, nudes, and reds. Just that change in color makes it so much more mature and sophisticated. Love the sheer stripe down the sleeve.

KRISTEN BELL
gown by Zuhair Murad, purse by Swarovski

Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

Kristen Bell’s breasts defy gravity. This bodice is magical on her, even if the rest of the gown is a little predictable.

REESE WITHERSPOON
dress by Hugo Boss, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/WireImage

You better work that sideboob, Miss Witherspoon! The proportions of the dress would work better in a shorter hemline. But I have to say, that little swoop on her shoes? A small detail, but it pulls together the whole look in a very modern, chic sort of way.

ANNA PAQUIN
gown by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Kurt Geiger

Photo: JB Lacroix/WireImage

Obsessed with the top of the gown. The rest doesn’t fit her particularly well, and I’m not sure red pumps were the way to go, but the straps and bust and cut-out look pretty fucking cool.

ALLISON WILLIAMS
gown by Emilia Wickstead

Photo: Rex

Pretty, but not the most interesting thing on earth. (Pop quiz: am I talking about: A) Allison Williams, B) Allison Williams’s gown, or C) All of the above?)

ANNE HATHAWAY
gown by Viktor & Rolf, purse by Roger Vivier

Photo: Venturelli/Getty

Pretty, but it needs a necklace. And it might be better suited to someone ten-to-twenty years older than Anne.

KATE HUDSON
gown by Zuhair Murad, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo:

Seen it before. And illusion netting needs to be used sparingly or exceptionally well (usually both), otherwise the star wearing it looks like an Olympic ice dancer.

SELENA GOMEZ
gown by Emilio Pucci

Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/WireImage

The texture is very cool, but the cut-out makes this silhouette a little bit awkward. And I hate sheer skirts over mini-dresses as a rule.

AMY ADAMS
gown by Carolina Herrera, earrings by Tiffany & Co.

Photo: AKM-GSI

Boring and ill-fitting. It’s like your wardrobe is reminding the world that you didn’t win an Oscar.

MIRANDA KERR
gown by Kaufmanfranco, jewelry by Jacob & Co.

Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

Cheap-looking and tacky. Miranda Kerr, you are better than this.

LADY GAGA
gown by Atelier Versace

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

This is the only dress she’s ever going to wear again, isn’t she?

SIENNA MILLER
gown by Alexander McQueen

Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/WireImage

NO ONE NEEDS THAT MANY BRACELETS.

ANNA KENDRICK
gown by Atelier Versace, purse by Rauwolf

Photo: Rex

It’s not as bad as the gown she wore to the Oscars, but it suffers from some of the same problems – it’s overdesigned, it’s got awkward cut-outs, and it’s overall too severe for Anna Kendric.

ZOOEY DESCHANEL
gown by Oscar de la Renta

Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/WireImage

I know Zooey fancies herself a quirky little princess, and that birds wearing kohl eyeliner and sporting bangs probably dress in her in the morning. But could she maybe leave this dress for the Kiernan Shipkas of the world and dress like an adult?

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Beyonce. Katniss. Hermione. Cara Delevingne’s eyebrows. All the ladies are here and ready for battle.

CARA DELEVINGNE vs. EMMA WATSON

Cara’s suit by Burberry Prorsum; Emma’s dress by Candela, shoes by Ancient Greek

CARA: Pardon me, Emma, love, but I’m terribly busy. I have these insanely long legs that I simply must show off in a serious of fabulous suits.

EMMA: Don’t worry about it, darling. Look at my casual sandals – I’m clearly carefree and down-to-earth.

Cara’s blouse by La Perla; Emma’s top and skirt by Christopher Kane, shoes by Gianvito Rossi

CARA: Well, you’re certainly sweet enough, but your eyebrows alone tell me you’ll never be able to defeat me.

EMMA: What does that even mean?

Cara’s suit by Burberry; Emma’s dress by Antonio Berardi

CARA: It means I have all-powerful eyebrows and you do not.

EMMA: I happen to have very fabulous eyebrows too, and I also have variety in my wardrobe, which you seem to lack.

Cara’s coat, dress, and purse by Burberry; Emma’s dress by Giambattista Valli, purse by M2Malletier, shoes by Christian Louboutin

CARA: I’m not taking any sass from you, Ms. Watson.

EMMA: Why? Because my eyebrows look better than yours? BASK IN THE GLOW OF THEM, CARA.

Cara’s suit by Roberto Cavalli; Emma’s gown and pants by Christian Dior, shoes by Roger Vivier

CARA: MY EYEBROWS ARE INSURED FOR $10,000.

EMMA: No one believes that’s true.

KARLIE KLOSS vs. JENNIFER LAWRENCE

Karlie’s blazer, purse, and boots by Tamara Mellon; Jennifer’s top and skirt by Proenza Schouler, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood

KARLIE: Ugh, stop it. You’re too adorable, Jennifer. I absolutely love your style.

JENNIFER: Thanks, but I’m not even going to pretend I picked out any of this. Fun, though, right?

Karlie’s jacket and pants by Louis Vuitton; Jennifer’s jacket by Burberry, top and skirt by J. Mendel, shoes by Narciso Rodriguez

KARLIE: Girlfriend, you know I love a pop of midriff.

JENNIFER: That’s a little more than a pop, but, okay. You wear it well.

Karlie’s dress by Christian Dior; Jennifer’s dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Jimmy Choo

KARLIE: I know I do, but I don’t think that’s a reason to copy my Dior little white peplum dress.

JENNIFER: It’s sweet that you think I’m copying you, when I actually do not care enough about this to even consider doing such a thing.

Karlie’s dress by Louis Vuitton; Jennifer’s dress by Tom Ford

KARLIE: I don’t know, J.Law. That sexy little Tom Ford dress tells me you care quite a bit.

JENNIFER: It’s sparkly and I like it, okay? Plus, I couldn’t stop falling over in full-length gowns.

Karlie’s gown by Donna Karan; Jennifer’s dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Christian Louboutin

KARLIE: That’s positively adorable. How do you make your shtick-y clumsiness sound so endearing?

JENNIFER: It’s just part of my magic.

NAYA RIVERA vs. AMY ADAMS

Naya’s dress by Monique Lhuillier, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Amy’s dress and shoes by Gucci

NAYA: I’m glad it’s finally our turn. Things are getting intense at March Fabness headquarters.

AMY: Tell me about it. I just saw Cara Delevingne trying to pluck off Emma Watson’s eyebrows.

Naya’s dress by Zac Posen, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Amy’s dress by Valentino, shoes by Casadei

NAYA: That’s a horrific image.

AMY: Isn’t it? Anyway, it’ll be a relief when I finally walk out of here with my trophy.

Naya’s dress by Donna Karan, shoes by Stuart Weitzman; Amy’s gown by Victoria Beckham

NAYA: Your trophy? I beg to differ, Miss Thing.

AMY: Oh, come on. You can’t possibly think you can beat me.

Naya’s gown by Michael Kors, shoes by Stuart Weitzman; Amy’s gown by Vivienne Westwood, purse by Edie Parker

NAYA: I’ll beat you right in your fucking face.

AMY: It just might be hard to reach me, with me on the A-List and you … somewhere far beneath that.

Naya’s gown by Michael Kors; Amy’s gown by Gucci

NAYA: How dare you. I’m plenty famous -

AMY: Listen up, sweetheart. I’m at the Oscars; you’re at the American Music Awards. Do the math.

BEYONCÉ KNOWLES vs. CHLOË MORETZ

Beyonc ‘s top and skirt by Topshop, hat by Eugenia Kim, sunglasses by Karen Walker, purse by Kurt Geiger; Chloë’s jacket by Vivienne Westwood, pants by J Brand, purse by Louis Vuitton

BEYONCÉ: Cute glasses, girl! How ya been?

CHLOË: Um, amazing! I can’t believe I get to compete with BEYONCÉ KNOWLES!

Beyoncé’s dress by Randi Rahm; Chloë’s dress by Marni, shoes by Christian Louboutin

BEYONCÉ: Slow your roll, little girl. What’s this about competing?

CHLOË: Uh, I’m here to defeat you? In a fashion battle?

Beyoncé’s dress and boots by Tom Ford; Chloë’s jacket by Saint Laurent, top, skirt, and purse by Chanel, shoes by Jimmy Choo

BEYONCÉ: Hahahahaha, oh, okay. That’s adorable. Go ahead and try.

CHLOË: Thanks, Ms. Knowles – um, Mrs. Carter – uh, thank you!

Beyoncé’s dress and shoes by Gucci; Chloë’s dress and shoes by Fendi

BEYONCÉ: No need for formality, honey. You can just call me Queen Bey.

CHLOË: Yes, Your Highness.

Beyoncé’s gown, gloves, and shoes by Givenchy; Chloë’s gown by Valentino

BEYONCÉ: Now run along before my skirt sets you on fire.

CHLOË: Yes, ma’am.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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The polls are open. 

EMMA WATSON vs. JENNIFER LAWRENCE

Emma’s jumpsuit by J. Mendel, shoes by Gianvito Rossi; Jennifer’s top and skirt by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Jimmy Choo

EMMA: Well, well, well. Katniss Everdeen. We meet at last.

JENNIFER: Emma. We’ve met like, at least a dozen times. What’s your deal?

Emma’s dress by Chanel, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti; Jennifer’s dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Jimmy Choo

EMMA: Um, I’m Hermione Granger, and I think I’d remember meeting Katniss Everdeen.

JENNIFER: Listen, it’s early, I’m tired – can we just drop the act and like, take a nap or something?

Emma’s dress and shoes by J. Mendel; Jennifer’s dress by Tom Ford

EMMA: No! Come on! Do the Hermione vs. Katniss bit with me! It’ll be fun! You’ll shoot arrows at me and I’ll shoot spells at you, it’ll be great!

JENNIFER: I don’t know, dude. I’ve been filming and press-touring for like, three years straight. I’m just going to take a nap right here, real quick…

Emma’s dress by Maxime Simoens, shoes by Proenza Schouler; Jennifer’s dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Christian Louboutin

EMMA: NO! Wake the fuck up! I am two-time March Fabness winner Emma Watson, and you will not fucking fall asleep in the middle of our fashion battle!

JENNIFER: Well, at least I got you to drop the Hermione bullshit. So, you’ve won this before?

Emma’s gown by Chanel; Jennifer’s gown by Christian Dior, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

EMMA: Twice. And I very much intend to win again.

JENNIFER: Well, in case you don’t – any advice?

Emma’s gown by Prabal Gurung; Jennifer’s dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Jimmy Choo

EMMA: Yeah. Stay away from the Cornucopia, find water, and stay alive.

JENNIFER: You’re a real asshole, you know that?

Emma’s gown by Christian Dior, shoes by Roger Vivier; Jennifer’s gown by Christian Dior

EMMA: May the odds be ever in your favor, Jennifer. You’ll need them.

JENNIFER: You’re lucky my bow and arrow don’t fit in this clutch.

AMY ADAMS vs. CHLOË MORETZ

Amy’s dress by Victoria Beckham; Chloë’s jacket by McQ, purse by Chanel

AMY: Ugh. I can’t even believe I have to be here. Isn’t it understood that I have better things to do?

CHLOË: Chill out. It’ll be quick. I’ll kick your ass in like, five minutes.

Amy’s gown by Victoria Beckham; Chloë’s dress by Marni, shoes by Christian Louboutin

AMY: You’re a cute kid, and you’ve got decent style for a girl your age, but I’m Amy Adams. I’m America’s sweetheart!

CHLOË: I actually think Jennifer Lawrence is America’s sweetheart, but whatever.

Amy’s gown by Roland Mouret; Chloë’s dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Jimmy Choo

AMY: Don’t sass me, little girl.

CHLOË: Don’t call me “little girl,” you boring old hag.

Amy’s gown by Vivienne Westwood, purse by Edie Parker; Chloë’s jacket by Saint Laurent, top, skirt, and purse by Chanel, shoes by Jimmy Choo

AMY: I am not going to dignify your childish behavior with a response.

CHLOË: See, when you talk, all I hear is WAH WAH WAH, WAH WAH, WAH WAH. Like in The Peanuts.

Amy’s gown by Gucci; Chloë’s dress by Christopher Kane

AMY: Enjoy the schoolgirl looks while you can, sweetheart. You’ve got about twelve months until they start looking desperate.

CHLOË: Oh, and then I can wear stuffy gowns like you? No thanks.

Amy’s gown by Valentino; Chloë’s dress by Christopher Kane, shoes by Jimmy Choo

AMY: Oh, do I detect a hint of jealousy that I get invited to awards shows and galas where grown-up clothes are actually necessary?

CHLOË: Me? Jealous? NEVER.

Amy’s gown by Antonio Berardi, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Chloë’s suit by Viktor & Rolf, shoes by Chanel

AMY: Oh, congratulations – I see you’ve finally graduated from cocktail dresses. Call me when you find yourself a real red carpet look, will you?

CHLOË: Don’t fuck with my pantsuit, lady. It’s undeniably awesome.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Celebrities keep wearing things. The Diva keeps judging them. 

KATE BOSWORTH in Los Angeles
dress by Christian Dior, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Getty

Kate Bosworth just won my vote for the lead in the upcoming Barbie movie. (I know that sounds like an insult, but I swear, this time, it’s a good thing.) She looks positively porcelain, with other-worldly hair-shininess, perfect lipstick, and accessories that gleam and glimmer. And this dress fits her like a glove.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE in New York City
blazer by Chloé, dress by 3.1 Phillip Lim, sunglasses by Tory Burch, purse by Balenciaga, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Splash News

I AM GETTING THIS HAIRCUT IMMEDIATELY, IF NOT SOONER. Also, this is some incredibly chic street style. I love the textured neutrals, the cut of the dress, and the shoes in particular.

EMMA WATSON at the Tribeca Film Festival
top and skirt by Narciso Rodriguez, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: Gary Gershoff/WireImage

I am ALL ABOUT this funky little asymmetrical dress. The peach-pink combo, the textures, the gold cuff – I love it all. I think she could have had a little bit more fun with her footwear, but the neutral sandals work. This feels super futuristic but incredibly feminine, like this is what girly-girls will be wearing after we colonize the moon.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY in New York City
jumpsuit and shoes by Isabel Marant, purse by Givenchy

Photo: Splash News

You can always spot a woman turning on the supermodel charm when she’s on the sidewalk. This could easily be an ad for everything she’s wearing.

EMMA STONE in Berlin
top and skirt by Chanel, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Zuma

I don’t actually love this, but it’s different from most things I’ve seen on the red carpet, so it gets major points for originality. There’s something very random about all that metallic trim, and it’s really difficult to wear red, white, and blue without looking like the Fourth of July. But I want to like it. The shoes are cool, and she looks positively statuesque.

EMMA STONE in Berlin
top and skirt by Erdem, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Getty

Listen, I love a good cape as much as the next girl (as long as it’s theoretical/on a celebrity and not myself). But much like superheroes, starlets should only wear capes when they are absolutely necessary, and I’m not sure this one was.

EMMA ROBERTS in New York City
dress and shoes by Chloé, purse by Edie Parker

Photo: Splash News

Her makeup has never looked better. I’m in love with that shade of lipstick, and even though those ruffles are a little goofy, I love the black nails/black clutch/sparkly rings combo. The booties… well, I hate approximately 90% of the booties I see on the red carpet. This is not an exception.

ZOE KRAVITZ in Los Angeles
jacket by Barbara Bui, top and skirt by Alexander Wang, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Donato Sardella/Getty

God, this girl is fucking cool. The purse is a little too gigantic, proportionally, but the stripes in it look beyond flawless with the straps in her sandals. The crop top/cropped jacket combo is absolutely killer.

SOLANGE KNOWLES in Los Angeles
skirt by Acne, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Donato Sardella/Getty

I am unapologetic in my love for this. The jacket is a work of art, and the shoes are maybe the most fun things I’ve ever seen. I am officially declaring this orange-coral shade the color of the summer (mainly because I just bought a purse in this color, so that’s convenient).

CHLOË MORETZ in New York City
sweater and skirt by Christopher Kane, shoes by Casadei

Photo: FameFlynet

Sweet and darling, and a great mix of colors.

CATHERINE, DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE in Sydney
dress by Roksanda Ilincic, shoes by L.K. Bennett

Photo: Rex

Prince William told her she looked like a banana this dress. I don’t necessary disagree, but it’s definitely a fucking fabulous royal banana.

CATHERINE, DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE in Sydney
dress by Zimmermann, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: GG/Splash News

I want to be a princess so that I can get sand all up in my Stuart Weitzman shoes and NOT EVEN CARE.

TONI COLLETTE at the Tribeca Film Festival
dress by Proenza Schouler

Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty

The length is all wrong on her, but I’m still a fan of this dress. Something about the metallic in the skirt just does it for me.

OLIVIA WILDE in New York City
gown by Maiyet

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

The baby bump Olivia is adorably cradling is now an actual baby! She and Jason Sudeikis had their little one, who I’m sure is as adorable and hilarious and effortlessly stylish as they are. And this kind of loose-fit, easy-breezy gown is definitely the thing to wear days before pushing a human out into the world.

AUBREY PLAZA at the Tribeca Film Festival
dress by Valentino, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty

The dress is supremely cute, but she could have really made this look pop with some styling. Literally any styling at all.

DIANNA AGRON in San Francisco
coat by Rodarte, dress by Theory

Photo: Drew Altizer/Sfwire

It’s almost May, Dianna. A black coat, black stockings, and black booties? I know San Francisco isn’t exactly tropical, but I think you can shed some layers.

ZHANG ZIYI in Beijing
jumpsuit by Elie Saab, purse by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Feng Li/Getty

I love everything this woman wears, but I can’t get behind this. The fit is a mess – particularly the waist, and the length of the pants – and those giant platforms only make things worse.

RITA ORA in New York City
jacket, top, and shorts by Jean Paul Gaultier, boots by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Rommel Demano/Getty

FINE, Rita. We’ll pay attention to you. Jesus.

OLIVIA MUNN in Anaheim, California
romper by Valentino, shoes by Sophia Webster

Photo: Albert L. Ortega/Getty

Just be less boring.

LEIGHTON MEESTER at the Tribeca Film Festival
dress, purse, and shoes by Emporio Armani

Photo: BxPix/Splash News

This is what happens when an amateur ice dancer tries to sew her own costume.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Welcome back to your regularly scheduled bitchfest, dear readers! 

JENNIFER LAWRENCE in New York City
gown by Jason Wu, purse by Kotur, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: C. Smith/WENN

Praise the old gods and the new – JENNIFER LAWRENCE FINALLY STOPPED WEARING DIOR! After a long run of sometimes fun but usually awkward looks that were too “fashion bitch” for her girl-next-door persona, she’s back in something that really suits her. Girlfriend was made for an athletic silhouette, and that velvet is an absolute dream on her. The black accessories are perfect – they modernize the look, and avoiding diamonds stopped her from looking like she accidentally wore her Oscars gown to a movie premiere. Keep these looks coming, J-Law, you fantastic creature, you.

ELLE FANNING in London
gown by Georges Hobeika

Photo: Mike Marsland/WireImage

Look at this little faerie princess of a woodland nymph. I could not love this more.

ELLE FANNING in Paris
dress by Valentino, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

Photo: AKM-GSI

I’m starting to think Elle Fanning’s stylist is Jack Donaghy, because wearing Sleeping Beauty shoes when you’re playing Princess Aurora is a prime example of vertical integration. Also, it’s adorable.

FAN BINGBING in New York City
gown by Georges Chakra, purse by Louis Vuitton

Photo: Mike Coppola/Getty

It’s miles too long, but only Fan Bingbing can rock that asymmetrical feathered cape thing. That shit is glorious.

EMMY ROSSUM in New York City
gown and purse by Lanvin

Photo: Gary Gershoff/Getty

Beautiful color, fantastic neckline, generally fabulous.

ELIZABETH OLSEN in London
gown by Elie Saab, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Karwai Tang/WireImage

One of her greatest red carpet achievements to date. It certainly helps atone for her Met Gala sins.

ANGELINA JOLIE in London
gown by Atelier Versace

Photo: James Whatling/Splash News

I don’t love the weird looseness at the top, but the way those sleeves end in a point is downright delicious. That little detail feels as appropriate for Maleficent as the Sleeping Beauty shoes were for Elle.

ANGELINA JOLIE in London
dress by Atelier Versace, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Gf/Bauer-Griffin

Mysterious, elegant, and cool. That’s Angelina Jolie at the top of her game.

EMMA ROBERTS in New York City
dress by Katie Ermilio, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: AdMedia/Splash News

I WANT YOUR SHOES.

CAMILLA BELLE in Shanghai
dress by Michael Kors

Photo: Hong Wu/Getty

The matching shoes and belt aren’t my favorite – all that matchiness gives off a “fussy old lady” vibe that definitely does not match Camilla Belle’s aesthetic. But that grayish blue lace – wow. What a truly gorgeous fabric.

KIERNAN SHIPKA in Los Angeles
top and skirt by Peter Pilotto, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: David Livingston/Getty

I need a Kiernan Shipka Barbie doll that comes with all of her amazing real-life. I am a grown-ass woman, but I would mix and match and play with that shit FOREVER.

KIERNAN SHIPKA in New York City
top, shorts, purse, and shoes by Tory Burch

Photo: Robin Marchant/Getty

Obsessed with the optical illusion sweater, even though it makes me a throw up a little bit when I scroll.

ZOE SALDANA in New York City
dress by MaxMara, shoes by Oscar Tiye

Photo: Rex

Usually, when I call something a bridesmaid’s dress, it’s not a compliment. But this is chic and stylish AND would look fantastic at a fall wedding.

ZOE SALDANA in New York City
dress by Altuzarra, shoes by Saint Laurent

Photo: Janet Mayer/Splash News

Simple but delicious.

RITA ORA in London
dress by Vivienne Westwood, shoes by Gianmarco Lorenzi

Photo: Gf/Bauer-Griffin

Is it weird that I love this? Because I TOTALLY LOVE THIS. I don’t always buy into her particular brand of fashion-crazy, but the dress is PERFECT for her. The bright colors, the print, and those obnoxiously loud shoes? It’s a shit-ton of fun.

SELENA GOMEZ in New York City
dress by Lanvin

Photo: John Lamparski/WireImage

This dress is hard to pull off, but I think Selena’s working it. She could have had just a little bit more fun with the styling, but I get that she wanted to let the dress do the talking. I still think a subtle necklace or a little more oomph in the hair would have helped.

KRYSTEN RITTER in New York City
gown by Temperley London, purse by Lauren Merkin

Photo: Slaven Vlasic/Getty

Who wears a gown to the NBC Upfronts? It’s a beautiful dress, but it feels kind of ridiculous here. And that purse makes me sad.

MINDY KALING in New York City
top and shorts by Miu Miu

Photo: Ben Gabbe/Getty

Mindy was born to wear that color, but I don’t think she’s pulling off those shorts. (In all fairness, I’m not sure anyone could.)

JESSICA ALBA in Los Angeles
dress by Mary Katrantzou, purse by Oroton

Photo: Gamma

Whatever. I can’t get excited about her. She’s going through this overgrown-toddler style phase that just exhausts me.

LEA MICHELE in New York City
dress by Blumarine, shoes by Schutz

Photo: Rex

Why, Lea? Why do you never learn? Why must you pair the down-to-the-navel neckline with the up-to-the-vulva skirt? This is not a thing that looks good on anyone, darling. Especially with that sad little apron.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Fuck the work week. Let’s hit the French Riviera. 

CATE BLANCHETT
gown by Armani Privé

Photo: Splash News

Maybe the most exquisite thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. The color; the intensely intricate, crazy beautiful metallic embellishments; the shoulders; the flower necklace. Ask me why I love the Cannes Film Festival, and I will just point to this photo and maybe drool a little bit.

CATE BLANCHETT
gown by Givenchy

Photo: Alberto Pizzoli/AFP/Getty

I thought Zoe Saldana would be the lucky lady to snag this Fall 2014 gown, but I’m glad it landed on Cate’s exquisite shoulders. I mean, it sort of looks like a bead store threw up on her, but, you know. In a good way.

CATE BLANCHETT
top and pants by Delpozo, shoes by Roger Vivier

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

I don’t advise mere mortals to attempt the sack-shaped crop top/high-waisted, wide-legged pant combination. Infuriatingly, Cate makes it look effortless and chic.

BLAKE LIVELY and RYAN REYNOLDS
gown and tuxedo by Gucci

Photo: George Pimentel/WireImage

Unstoppably beautiful as individuals. Together, their combined sex appeal might actually take over the universe.

BLAKE LIVELY
dress by Giambattista Valli, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: FameFlynet

What an unreasonable and truly awkward skirt length. Other than that, this is cute as a button.

NAOMI WATTS
gown by Marchesa

Photo: Dave J. Hogan/Getty

I just want to dive into this picture and pull up that droopy little sleeve. I know it’s intentional, but she just looks like her clothes are falling off. But the draping of this gown is a dream, and that necklace is ten different kinds of glam.

LÉA SEYDOUX
suit and shoes by Prada

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

Obsessed. Has there ever been a spring suit this fabulous?

CLOTILDE COURAU
gown by Elie Saab

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Fantastic silhouette, lovely and interesting print. More importantly, it doesn’t look like every other Elie Saab gown ever made. All his work is stunning, but there are a finite number of times you can send the same sparkly embellished gown down the runway without it getting a little bit redundant.

FREIDA PINTO
blazer and pants by Ella Moss, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: Xposure/AKM-GSI

I don’t even know how to describe this print, but I know I want it on five thousand different items of clothing and accessories, ASAP.

FREIDA PINTO
gown by Michael Kors

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

The fit is a little sad; the color, somewhat more so. You’re better than this, Freida.

ZOE SALDANA
dress by Valentino

Photo: Ramey

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. But when in France, don’t dress like a French maid. Zoe might pull it off, but it’s still a bit too on the nose.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
top and skirt by Christian Dior, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: PA

More awkward Dior for poor little J.Law. The skirt is actually a great shape, but I hate how wide the crop top is. And I don’t even know how to identify whatever is pictured on it.

AMERICA FERRERA
top by Louis Vuitton, skirt by Missoni, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

I think this lacks the requisite oompf that Cannes demands – I know it’s daytime, but a polo shirt and sad nude pumps just don’t cut it. Great color palette, though.

AMERICA FERRERA
gown by Georges Hobeika, purse by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Joel Ryan/Invision/AP

Awkward, ill-fitting, and strangely cake-like.

EVA GREEN
gown by Elie Saab

Photo: Tim P. Whitby/Getty

Eva, what did you do to your makeup artist to make him hate you so much? Surely there must be a way to get back in his good graces so that you never have to suffer this clown makeup again.

EVA GREEN
jumpsuit by Elie Saab

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

Maybe the saddest look in the history of Cannes. Bitch, you’re in the French Riviera. Lighten the fuck up. Things can’t possibly be all that bad.

ISABELI FONTANA
gown by Tufi Duek, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

Looks like we found the Brazilian Lea Michele! A plunging neckline, a slit up to the sky, AND side cut-outs? Honey. Calm yourself. It’s a long festival, and you’ll have plenty of time to show some skin. There’s no need to do it all at once.

GEMMA ARTERTON
dress by Emilio Pucci

Photo: Michael Buckner/Getty

Are you lost? This is CANNES. No one wears three different shades of baby pink to Cannes, for God’s sake.

EVA LONGORIA
gown by Gabriela Cadena

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

Oh, look! It’s the only thing Eva Longoria has ever worn! This woman wears so many mermaid gowns, she might actually live under the sea.

EVA LONGORIA
gown by Gabriela Cadena

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

Oh, look! It’s an uglier version of the only gown Eva Longoria has ever worn, and this time it vaguely resembles lingerie!

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Let’s spend the holiday weekend in Cannes, dear readers. 

FREIDA PINTO
gown by Oscar de la Renta, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Rex

The English language has yet to come up with words grand enough to describe Freida Pinto in this bright coral Oscar de la Renta confection. Luckily, I think I can use punctuation to speak for all of us when I respond to this look with a resounding !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JESSICA CHASTAIN
gown by Atelier Versace, shoes by Roger Vivier

Photo: Vittorio Zuninoi Celotto/Film Francais/WireImage

This deeply saturated blue is an absolute dream come true on the lovely Ms. Chastain. The matchy shoes are a bit bridesmaid, but the dress is so flawless I can’t bring myself to care. Perfect fit, silhouette, color, etc. Also, let’s all look at the woman behind Jessica and giggle at her facial expression, because it’s silly.

JESSICA CHASTAIN
dress by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Paul Andrew

Photo: Venturelli/WireImage

I need this dress in my life. I’d wear the SHIT out of this thing. The shoes would have been better with a solid-color dress – mixing them with the dress’s very different print wasn’t a great choice – but at least they’re fun and interesting.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
top and skirt by Christian Dior, sunglasses by Miu Miu, purse by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Danny Martindale/GC

Cannes street style perfection. I love the glam couture gowns that the stars whip out for the Cannes Film Festival, but it’s the effortlessly chic beachy-meets-city-girl daytime looks that make Cannes the best time of the year.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
jumpsuit by Christian Dior, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Getty

I love everything about this. The problem with J.Law’s Dior contract isn’t that she doesn’t look good in any Dior. It’s that the most dramatic gowns by the label (the ones they want to show off at awards shows and big premieres) tend towards the “fashion bitch” aesthetic, and that’s just not who J.Law is. (Case in point: J.Law in Dior at the Los Angeles Catching Fire premiere.) But when her stylists really mine the Dior lookbooks for something sporty and casual and cool enough for America’s BFF, she looks at home in her outfit, and that comfort level makes all the difference in the world.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
dress by Christian Dior, purse by Roger Vivier

Photo: David M. Benett/Getty

Too much dress. The length of that skirt makes no sense at all. And I could happily never see another sheer skirt over a minidress on the red carpet, ever again. Oh, well. Two fab Dior looks outta three ain’t bad.

SONIA ROLLAND
gown by Zuhair Murad

Photo: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty

Sonia Rolland, I don’t actually know who you are, but I know that I want to be you. I also know that I’m angry at myself for never hearing of you until now. Because if this is standard red carpet fare for you, you’re a diva this Diva needs to know about.

NATASHA POLY
gown by Oscar de la Renta

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

I love this skirt. You need to be 5’10″ like Natasha Poly to pull it off, otherwise your legs will get lost in that insane explosion of fabric. But for the long-legged ladies, this is a seriously fucking fabulous look.

LÉA SEYDOUX
gown by Prada

Photo: PA

It’s a tiny bit matronly – something about the color and the fabric ages her, even though I love its vintage feel. I think I’m overall still in love with this look as a whole, but this does not look like a woman in her twenties. The hair and makeup may also be to blame for that effect.

CATE BLANCHETT
gown by Armani Privé

Photo: FameFlynet

As other-worldly, enigmatic, and ethereal as Cate Blanchett herself. The only reason I didn’t rank this higher is because she’s already worn a few versions of this dress. It’s almost an exact combination of these three Armani Privé looks: her Deauville Film Festival dress from last September; her New York Film Festival dress from October; and of course, her legendary 2014 Oscars gown. All fabulous looks, as is this one, but I like Cate best when she’s surprising me, not recycling previous wardrobe hits.

HILARY SWANK
gown by Atelier Versace, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Danny Martindale/FilmMagic

The draping on that bodice is absolutely spectacular. Points deducted for the length of the gown, which is sloppy and nonsensical, and for the shoes, which appear to be off-white and platformed (both no-nos for a gown like this one). From the waist-up, this is basically perfection; the rest leaves a bit to be desired.

JESS WEIXLER
gown by Armani Privé

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Beautiful detailing on the fabric. And the earrings are outstanding. I predicted Amanda Seyfried would be the one to snag this gown, but it’s a great piece for any starlet.

JULIANNE MOORE
dress and shoes by Lanvin, purse by Tod’s

Photo: Mike Marsland/WireImage

I’m sure this is supposed to look like something other than a roll of fabric wrapped around Ms. Moore like a toga and secured with some spit and a prayer. It’s actually kind of fabulous in spite of that, but I just can’t get too excited about such a sack-like dress.

JULIANNE MOORE
dress and purse by Calvin Klein

Photo: Michael Bowles/Rex

Love the color. Hate the length with a fiery passion. I also think the accessories are way too dressy – she should have gone with less formal, more fun styling to make this look a little less severe.

LUPITA NYONG’O
dress by Calvin Klein

Photo: Arthur Mola/Invision/AP

It works because Lupita is the one wearing it, but I don’t really like anything about this, from the fabric to the color to the fit. It’s a size too small on her, and the shininess of the fabric makes it look like plastic.

ROONEY MARA
dress and shoes by Calvin Klein

Photo: Michael Bowles/Rex

Rooney Mara continues to wear the only thing she ever wears, and I continue to be bored to tears by her.

ADRIANA LIMA
gown by Alexandre Vauthier, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Mike Marsland/WireImage

I’m not a fan of the bodice – I think the cups are very distracting, and the split down the middle looks like an accident – but the skirt is killer.

NAOMI WATTS
dress by Marchesa

Photo: David M. Benett/Getty

Yet another silly, fussy Marchesa cupcake look. When will celebrities finally learn to stay the hell away from these?

NAOMI WATTS
dress by Calvin Klein

Photo: Michael Bowles/Rex

From color to fit, this is a sad, sad little dress. And the necklace makes no sense at all.

ROSARIO DAWSON
gown by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Bitch, this is Cannes. Try for something we haven’t seen on the red carpet six thousand times before.

ROSARIO DAWSON
dress by Sportmax, shoes by Bionda Castana

Photo: FameFlynet

If ever a dress did NOT need a peplum, it was this one. Aside from the trend being completely tired out at this point, the crazy splatterpaint print is more than enough to look at without the distraction of the peplum. And while the shoes are fun as hell, they’re yet another detail that distracts from the print, which should have been left the hell alone and allowed to shine on its own. Also, is Rosario rocking Skrillex hair? Because I just don’t think I can support that.

MIA WASIKOWSKA
gown by Louis Vuitton

Photo: Dominique Charriau/Film Francais/WireImage

I want to like this, because it’s interesting and it makes her look about a thousand feet tall when she’s actually only 5’4″. But I find Mia Wasikowksa to be one of the most forgettable dressers on the red carpet. Everything is always almost-but-not-quite a good idea, and nothing is ever really memorable.

MIA WASIKOWSKA
dress and shoes by Valentino

Photo: PA

I’d actually really like this outfit if it weren’t for the shoes – I think an ankle strap was a mistake with a skirt of this length. But my previous comments re: forgettability (is that even a word?) still apply.

SALMA HAYEK
gown and purse by Saint Laurent

Photo: PA

Let’s put things in perspective: Salma Hayek is married to François-Henri Pinault, CEO of Kering. Kering owns basically every fabulous high fashion brand, including Alexander McQueen, Balenciaga, Gucci, and Saint Laurent. So even if Salma Hayek weren’t incredibly famous in her own right, she would still have more access to high fashion than basically any living human besides Anna Wintour. Now, with all that designer accessibility, wouldn’t you maybe not wear the same basic gown over and over and over again? If not for yourself, then maybe for the sanity of the Democracy Diva? So, no, Salma Hayek does not look bad here, because she’s beautiful and there’s nothing wrong with this dress. But she is basically the First Lady of fashion, and you’d never know it from the way she dresses.

EVA LONGORIA
gown by Vionnet

Photo: Dominique Charriau/Film Francais/WireImage

How unfortunate for Eva Longoria that she ended up on the red carpet midway through shedding her skin.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Everyone is in Paris without us. Let’s hate them for it. 

EMMA WATSON at the Dior after-party
top, skirt, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Pierre Suu/GC/Getty

I know Emma Watson is a year and a half younger than me, but does that mean I’m not allowed to want to be her when I grow up? BECAUSE I DO, YOU GUYS. I REALLY DO. Everything about this look is awesome.

EMMA WATSON at the Giambattista Valli show
blouse by Grace, pants by J Brand, purse by Lulu Guinness

Photo: Rex

My terrifying middle school show choir director never wore anything except black tunics and black leggings, so this look is giving me PTSD flashbacks to doing jazz hands to Rodgers and Hammerstein medleys. But personal trauma aside, it’s got that fabulous French I-don’t-give-a-fuck vibe that everyone tries to attain and so few of us ever manage to perfect.

EMMA WATSON at the Dior show
dress, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

It almost looks good, because it’s Emma, but this dress is just so much more complicated than it has any right to be. There’s just too much here for the human eyeball to possibly take in. I love the shoes, but I think you need to possess some sort of alien vision super-powers to even comprehend the rest of this outfit.

ZHANG ZIYI at the Dior show
dress, sunglasses, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Is there anything more perfect for the Dior show than this look? That coat is a work of art, and it’s refreshingly simple and uncomplicated. She left the funkiness to the accessories, which is really the best route to take for a couture show in Paris.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the Dior show
top, skirt, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Bauer-Griffin

I love this dress, but I don’t think the matching accessories add much to the look. The makeup is also a little strange, but I have a feeling that’s just the makeup artist trying to cover up Jennifer’s sunburn. Because J.Law seems like the type who’s too normal-girl to listen to her stylist about preserving her skin by never leaving the house without a ski mask of SPF 80 slathered on her face. But regardless, at least the Dior show allowed this magical moment to occur:

Photo: Yahoo

JENNIFER AND EMMA. BEING BEST FRIENDS, WITHOUT US. LIFE IS SO UN-FUCKING-FAIR.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the Dior after-party
dress and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Rex

Chic and sexy. This is definitely the outfit to wear to party all night in Paris, in case that’s on your calendar this week.

LILY COLLINS at the Chanel show
sweater, skirt, purse, and shoes by Chanel

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

I feel like I’m supposed to hate this, because that skirt looks like pom poms and fringe in general is not my thing, but somehow, I’m totally buying what Lily Collins is selling. The hair is maybe the cutest thing in the whole fucking universe, and something about the sweater/skirt combo is just the best kind of funky-chic.

CHLOË MORETZ at the Armani Privé show
top and shorts by Giorgio Armani

Photo: FameFlynet

Best she’s looked in ages. Head-to-toe chic, cool, and modern.

JARED LETO at the Chanel show
pants by Chanel

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

I know it’s hipster bullshit, but Jared Leto wears it so fucking well.

OLIVIA PALERMO at the Elie Saab show
top by Tibi, pants by Banana Republic, purse by Christian Dior

Photo: FameFlynet

Of course she felt the need to add the fringe around her ankles, because Olivia Palermo can never just let an outfit have a non-insane amount of detailing. But otherwise, this is surprisingly chic and simple for the addicted-to-over-accessorizing Olivia.

OLIVIA PALERMO at the Dior show
vest, blouse, sunglasses, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Miguel Medina/AFP/Getty

That vest is disgusting. Regina George would ban you from the lunch table for this in a heartbeat.

MARION COTILLARD at the Dior show
top, skirt, and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Foc Kan/WireImage

Underwhelming. A French woman, being out-dressed by Brits and Americans at a couture show in Paris? She should be ashamed of herself for losing on her home turf.

ROSAMUND PIKE at the Dior show
coat, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

I’m kind of into that strange vest-coat, at least on celebrities. It seems a bit impractical for those of us who live in the real world, but it’s perfect front row fodder.

CHARLIZE THERON at the Dior show
dress and shoes by Christian Dior

Photo: Foc Kan/WireImage

All those obnoxious Dior commercials, and Charlize still can’t get a more interesting dress to wear to their show than this one? That’s just sad.

NINA DOBREV at the Chanel show
dress and purse by Chanel, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Jacopo Raule/GC

These proportions are ridiculous. Add a minimum of two inches to this skirt, and she might be able to escape  looking like she forgot to wear pants to this event. As a blogger, I can appreciate the desire to be pantsless as much as possible, but even I would probably wear some sort of bottom to a fashion show.

NINA DOBREV at the Elie Saab show
jacket, top, skirt, and purse by Elie Saab

Photo: FameFlynet

Seriously? Come on. This is just lazy.

POPPY DELEVINGNE at the Chanel show
dress and purse by Chanel

Photo: Getty

I wish Poppy were as cool as her sister. Come to think of it, I bet she wishes that too.

KATE HUDSON at the Armani Privé show
jumpsuit by Armani Privé

Photo: Stephane Cardinale/People Avenue/Corbis

Liza Minnelli called. She’s not quite sure how you managed to break into her closet and steal her favorite bedazzled jumpsuit AND its matching poofy scrunchie-esque broach, Kate, but let me tell you – she is PISSED.

PINK at the Armani Privé show
dress by Armani

Photo: Pierre Suu/Getty

EVERYONE STOP DRESSING LIKE OLD LADIES. Don’t get me wrong, Elaine Stritch would work the shit out of this outfit, but she’s fifty-five years older than Pink. They probably should not be sharing a wardrobe.

KRISTEN STEWART at the Chanel show
pants by Chanel

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

So you’re telling me that Karl Lagerfeld not only is attempting to sell the public on sheer puffy drawstring tapered genie pants, but he’s trying to use Kristen Stewart to do so? It’s official. The old man has completely lost it.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Everything’s coming up Emma. 

EMMA WATSON launching the HeForShe campaign at the UN
dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: DVT/Star Max/GC

I did not know that there was such a thing as “serving up UN Goodwill Ambassador realness” until now. But if anyone could make that happen, it’s Emma Watson. I highly recommend you watch her inspiring and eye-opening speech about feminism that she gave to the UN this week while wearing this iconic Dior coat-dress. The only thing more beautiful than her outfit was her message.

EMMA WATSON at the HeForShe launch after-party
dress by Hugo Boss, purse by M2Malletier, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Robin Marchant/Getty

I had to turn my screen brightness up to a blinding level to see it, but this dress actually has some cool sheer effects that make it a lot more interesting than it appears at first glance. But also, Emma Watson could wear a burlap sack and I’d be like THIS IS THE HEIGHT OF FASHION.

COCO ROCHA at the Roberto Cavalli show
suit by Roberto Cavalli

Photo: Getty

There are few enough events in the world where it is appropriate to wear a palm-tree printed tuxedo. It’s basically just a gay tropical destination wedding, or the Roberto Cavalli show in Milan. Coco chose the latter, and knocked it out of the fucking park.

KIRSTEN DUNST in New York
dress by Chanel, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: Jemal Countess/Getty

I predicted we’d see Emma Stone in this stunning couture gown, but it’s pretty damn close to perfection on Kirsten. The pockets are to die for, and I love that the shoes replicate the design in the bodice.

JESSICA CHASTAIN in London
gown by Erdem

Photo: Karwai Tang/WireImage

Joining Team Gowns With Pockets, Jessica Chastain was a delight in this surprising shade of banana. It shouldn’t work with her coloring, but somehow, it does.

TAYLOR SWIFT in Las Vegas
top and skirt by Calvin Klein, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Almost pain-stakingly perfect. A black or red pedicure, and I might have thrown up all over myself.

KERRY WASHINGTON in Los Angeles
dress by Mary Katrantzou, purse by Kotur, shoes by SJP

Photo: Amanda Edwards/WireImage

It’s a dress for a kindergartener, but Kerry Washington makes it work. I got tired of white pumps on the red carpet a year ago, when they took over Hollywood for an entire summer, so I’d have changed up the shoes. But these baby blues are pretty damn beautiful on her.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE in Las Vegas
top and pants by Emilio Pucci, shoes by Valentino

Photo: Mark Davis/Getty

Awesome crop top, but I’m worried someone is going to trip on that purse tassel.

KAROLINA KURKOVA in Milan
coat by Armani Privé

Photo: Rex

Honestly, if you’re going to wear the dress a gold-digging Muppet would wear at her husband’s funeral, you have to go bigger than this. You need more interesting shoes, wild hair, and more makeup than just that red lipstick. Karolina, you should know better.

GUGU MBATHA-RAW in New York City
dress by Jenny Packham

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

It’s almost aggressively sweet, but I’m still on the side of liking it, even if it’s bordering on handmade tablecloth territory.

CHLOË MORETZ in New York City
dress by Christian Dior

Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty

Uh, I think your dress is broken.

HEIDI KLUM at the Roberto Cavalli show
suit by Roberto Cavalli

Photo: Getty

I appreciate the effort, but Coco did it SO much better.

HEIDI KLUM at the Versace show
jacket, dress, and boots by Versace

Photo: instyle.co.uk

Jackets slung over shoulders is my new red carpet pet peeve. It’s particularly common on the front row, because stars are always sweating in packed tents while having to shill the free coat a designer sent them. Unless that thing is glued to your shoulders, it ain’t staying there. But I guess that’s what you pay assistants for – to keep your coat that you didn’t buy that’s worth more than a car from falling off your perfectly tanned shoulders.

DIANE KRUGER in Paris
dress by Chanel

Photo: Thomas Samson/AFP/Getty

Who the fuck is this, and what has she done with Diane Kruger?

IGGY AZALEA and RITA ORA in Las Vegas
Iggy’s sweater by Opening Ceremony, shoes by Rupert Sanderson
Rita’s top and pants by Philipp Plein, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Stuart C. Wilson/Getty

Am I getting old, or do they both look pretty fucking stupid?

ELLE FANNING in Los Angeles
top and pants by Oscar de la Renta

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

This is a bland, boring outfit that I was forced to include because Elle Fanning is a brunette now. Discuss.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY in New York City
jacket, pants, belt, and shoes by Versus Versace

Photo: Cindy Ord/Getty

But also, there are these things called jackets that fit.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY in London
dress by Balmain, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Fred Duval/FilmMagic

Somehow, she is wearing way too much fabric and WAY too little fabric simultaneously.

GINNIFER GOODWIN in Los Angeles
top and skirt by Marni, purse by Rauwolf, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

This might be the least flattering thing she’s ever worn.

HILARY DUFF in Las Vegas
dress by Anthony Vaccarello

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

What I keep telling myself every time I look at this photo:

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Get through your day with a healthy dose of judgment. 

NAOMI WATTS at the New York Film Festival
gown by Gucci Première

Photo: Jim Spellman/WireImage

This is exquisite. I am strongly considering getting married in (a cheaper knock-off of) this dress. The sleeves have that old-Hollywood, 1920s-romantic feel that I adore, and that slightly silvery pale gray is just an overwhelmingly beautiful color. I’m in heaven.

NAOMI WATTS in New York City
dress by Elie Saab, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Ray Tamarra/GC

It’s impressive that Naomi Watts is managing to be the most adorable thing in this photo, because that anorexic little dog is SO FUCKING CUTE. But not as cute as Naomi’s epic pink dress/gray coat combo. I’m a sucker for a pink-gray or blue-gray combo. It just always does it for me.

EMMA STONE at the New York Film Festival
dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Aquazzura

Photo: Marion Curtis/Startraks

UBER, MEGA, CRAZY FUCKING FABULOUS. It only missed the top spot because Naomi is wearing my future wedding gown. But this is all the best things about Emma Stone – fun, funky, but with a touch of vintage glam. These shades of green are too cool, the draping is gorgeous, and the sleeves must be SUPER fun to make windmill motions with.

EMMA STONE in New York City
jacket and skirt by Roland Mouret

Photo: Amanda Schwab/Startraks

The perfect photocall/press conference/casual luncheon look for a celebrity. Sharp yet easy-going; cool but not fussy.

LIZZY CAPLAN in Los Angeles
dress by Elie Saab, purse by Emm Kuo, shoes by Bionda Castana

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

This color is just bringing so much joy into my life right now. Could I have one of everything in this exact shade of mint-green-meets-Tiffany-blue? Also, when exactly did Lizzy Caplan make the transition from “that badass Mean Girls chick” to “fashionista extraordinaire?” It’s definitely an impressive transformation.

EMMY ROSSUM in New York City
dress by Monique Lhuillier

Photo: Ray Tamarra/GC

Emmy must have taken my advice and fired her terrible makeup artist! Honestly, it was a necessary move. She was running around looking like the worst parts of the late 90s exploded all over her face. Also, this dress is basically the required uniform for young, cool celebrities. And the shoes are fantastic.

ZOE SALDANA at the ALMA Awards
dress by Narciso Rodriguez, purse by Tyler Alexandra, shoes by Kurt Geiger

Photo: Michael Kovac/Getty

Zoe Saldana is (allegedly) pregnant with twins, so she gets to wear literally whatever the fuck she wants for the next few months. She can wrap herself in a silk red pillowcase and say, “I’m red carpet ready, motherfuckers,” and I will applaud her for it. Because if I were in my third trimester with two babies in me, there is no fucking way I’d be able to haul my ass off the couch and make it to all these contractually-obligated promotional events. More power to you, Zoe.

JAMIE CHUNG at New York Comic-Con
top and skirt by Tanya Taylor, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/Getty

Adorable. Very Taylor Swiftian. And that’s actually a compliment. Also, a solid use of the ubiquitous Stuart Weitzman “Nudist” sandal, which has been worn by a celebrity pretty much every day for the last six months. But that simple strappy sandal works particularly well here.

REESE WITHERSPOON in Los Angeles
dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Saint Laurent

Photo: Michael Kovac/Getty

Love the sleeves. Reese’s style tends towards the boring, but she’s been surprising me lately. It’s a refreshing change.

KATE MARA in London
dress by J. Mendel, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: David M. Benett/Getty

She needs a necklace or a bracelet to make her look less naked. This is an adorable dress, but I can just feel Cher Horowitz’s father yelling, “It looks like underwear!” Anyway, that chartreuse color is particularly difficult for a light-skinned lady to pull off, so kudos to Kate for making it work.

AUBREY PLAZA at the ALMA Awards
dress by Mary Katrantzou, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty

Mary Katrantzou has had a solid red carpet presence for the last couple of years. I still don’t totally understand why. Aubrey is making this particular dress work, based solely on her particular brand of weird-girl-sexiness, but 99% of the label’s prints are hideous. I feel like I spend half my days staring into Mary Katrantzou patterns, counting how many abstract penises I can find.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the London Film Festival
dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Stuart C. Wilson/Getty

There’s nothing wrong with this look, and girl looks sexy as hell. But you cannot expect me to get worked up over a Dior coat-dress when this is basically the only thing anyone in the universe wears anymore, including Jennifer. (See also: Emma Watson, Zhang Ziyi, Kirsten Dunst, Leelee Sobieski… seriously, Dior coat-dresses are great, but it’s enough already.)

KIERNAN SHIPKA in Los Angeles
dress by Chris Gelinas

Photo: Frederick M. Brown/Getty

Can something be too youthful for a fourteen-year-old? Maybe I’m just so used to Kiernan looking wise/stylist beyond her years that this feels kind of jarringly youthful to me. I still like it, I just think she suddenly looks like a little kid again, and it caught me off guard. Because I don’t like remembering that my personal style icon is actually a child.

VIOLA DAVIS in Los Angeles
dress by Escada

Photo: John Shearer/Invision/AP

Lose the done-to-death platform pumps and the wig, and this would be fantastic.

JENNIFER LOPEZ in Los Angeles
dress by Valentino, purse by Oroton, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Jim Smeal/BEImages

Sure, it barely covers her vulva, but for Jennifer Lopez, this is practically a nun’s habit.

JESSICA CHASTAIN in Los Angeles
dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Jonathan Leibson/Getty

Why? Why on earth would you choose to wear those Barbie pink shoes with an orange-red dress – particularly when you have ginger hair? What good could possibly come of this?

NATALIE DORMER in Los Angeles
dress by House of Holland

Photo: Frederick M. Brown/Getty

As a nerd, I want to support anyone who’s in both Game of Thrones and The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, but I can’t even pretend to be okay with those shoes.The dress has more than enough going on – maybe even too much – and the clunky sandals and black toenail polish are just distracting.

NATALIE PORTMAN in Los Angeles
gown and purse by Christian Dior

Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

I want to like this, but how many times in the eight thousand years Natalie has been on the red carpet has she worn this gown? A billion? Again, loving Dior is not a crime, but girlfriend desperately needs to switch up her style a little bit.

NICOLE RICHIE in Los Angeles
gown by Blumarine

Photo: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic

You know me, dear readers. I love when celebrities take risks and give me something to really talk about. I applaud surprising prints (well, unless they’re Mary Katrantzou) and interesting textures and altogether unexpected things. But sometimes, a surprising, interesting, unexpected dress is also just butt-ugly. This is that dress.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER in New York City
dress by Elie Saab, shoes by SJP

Photo: Walter McBride/Getty

This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen Sex and the City 2, so that’s saying something.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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The stars party on Monday; we judge them on Friday. That’s the way of the world, dear readers. 

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
dress by Oscar de la Renta, purse by Rodo, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

Jennifer Lawrence might have been the first star to don Oscar after the designer passed away on Monday night. It was a fitting tribute, for America’s sweetheart to wear the king of American fashion. J.Law’s hair and makeup have never looked better, and her sweet, feminine dress is juxtaposed beautifully with those harder, more bad-ass accessories. Well done, you fabulous lady, you.

EMMY ROSSUM
suit and blouse by Versace, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

Emmy is rocking an aesthetic I like to call “fashion bitch.” It’s harsh and dramatic; sexy and intense. For God’s sake, she’s wearing a “cut-out blouse,” which is essentially just a collar and a strip of fabric with some buttons on it. This is nonsensical, and yet she looks awesome in it. The slick chicness of the pinstriped suit helps bring the non-shirt into perspective, and the shoes were a great choice. All-around impressive work from Ms. Rossum.

ELIZABETH BANKS
dress by Michael Kors, purse by Amanda Pearl, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty

It could have been just another floral dress, but the halter cut and the obscenely bright colors are elevating this to a seriously fucking fantastic place. It’s not rocket science, but it’s certainly gorgeous.

LIZZY CAPLAN
dress by Calvin Klein

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

I love the collar and the sleeves, but the chunky gray accessories are kind of distracting. I’m not the biggest Calvin Klein fan, so when the designer sponsors a party and half the attendees show up in CK, I get even more bitchy and judgmental than usual. So, get ready for that, I guess.

RENEE ZELLWEGER
dress by Carolina Herrera

Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

You can read about and comment upon Renee Zellweger’s face on basically every other place on the internet. I’m limiting this discussion to her clothes, which look damn good. The dress is flattering and the sleeves are funky; the gold accessories could be a little bit dated, but they feel more like an intentional throwback.

AMY POEHLER
dress by Calvin Klein

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

I have long since adored this wintery, sweater-esque dress (I predicted Emilia Clarke would wear it), but the belt is ruining everything. And the proportions of the skirt definitely do not work with ankle-strap platforms. However, this dress is so yummy and Amy Poehler is so awesome that I’m still on board.

BELLA THORNE
dress by Gucci

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

I’ve been in love with this yellow leather dress since it hit the Fall 2014 runways – it was my red carpet prediction for Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. I’m trying to love it on Bella, but I think it clashes terribly with her hair, and even more so with those sad, gray-ish nude platform peep-toes.

KERRY WASHINGTON
dress by Calvin Klein, purse by Thalé Blanc, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

Normally, my problem with Calvin Klein is that the designers are just too minimalist to be interesting. This suffers from the opposite problem – it’s weird for the sake of weirdness. It’s more awkward than flattering, and it only looks remotely decent because Kerry Washington is the one wearing it. Also, didn’t celebrities make a tacit agreement to stop carrying that domino clutch like two years ago, after its popularity exploded all over the red carpet?

KALEY CUOCO
dress by Paule Ka

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

Kaley. You’re 28 years old. There’s no reason to be styling yourself like a menopausal woman trying to reclaim her youth.

NIKKI REED
dress by Marchesa, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

This is a big bag of bullshit.

LIBERTY ROSS
gown by Versace

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

This is terrible enough from the front, but much more dangerous from the side:

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

I know it’s the Women in Hollywood party, but unless the attendees were required to prove their womanhood via body inspections, I do not understand why I am looking at so very much of her breast.

SARAH PAULSON
dress by Oscar de la Renta, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin

I love Sarah Paulson, and I love Oscar de la Renta, but this is a mess. And when I told Emmy Rossum to fire her makeup artist a few weeks ago, I wasn’t planning on that artist being picked up by Sarah Paulson. Someone ban that terrible, terrible person from committing more makeup atrocities against celebrities.

TEYONAH PARRIS
blazer by Stella McCartney, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

I’ll give her this much – the blazer is fantastic (proven by the fact that Cate Blanchett has worn it) and Teyonah is clearly having more fun than anyone else at this party. But that crop top/shorts combo makes her look like a Vegas cocktail waitress.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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OMGYAAAAAS IT’S HUNGER GAMES TIME YAAAAAAAAS. 

JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the London premiere
dress by Christian Dior

Photo: Dave J. Hogan/WireImage

Okay, the white glow around her eyes is excessive and makes it look like her makeup artist forgot his blending brushes, but everything else about this is perfectly J.Law. Classic, old Hollywood glamour with a young, funky vibe – it doesn’t get more Jennifer Lawrence than that.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the London after-party
gown by Mugler

Photo: Dave J. Hogan/Getty

Serving up American Hustle fierceness. Fuck yes. Keep ‘em coming all press tour long, girl.

ELIZABETH BANKS at the London premiere
gown by Elie Saab

Photo: instyle.co.uk

Yes, Jennifer Lawrence is my imaginary best friend, and I am a hardcore Hunger Games fangirl who has read the books too many times to count. But the real reason I love the Hunger Games movie press tours so much? ELIZABETH BANKS. So many of her greatest red carpet achievements were for these movies. That yellow Bill Blass gown, the orange Versace gown, that sparkly fuchsia Marc Jacobs dress – ugh, I’m getting sentimental. Anyway, the point is, my Elizabeth Banks expectations were astronomically high, and as per usual, the lady did not disappoint. Also, this dress deserves to be viewed in gif form from every angle (thank you, People Style Watch, because I can’t stop staring at this):

I WANT TO BE HER.

ELIZABETH BANKS at the London after-party
dress by Monique Lhuillier, purse by Lee Savage, shoes by Paul Andrew

Photo: David M. Benett/WireImage

Love the rose-gold color; hate the foil-y appearance of the fabric. Still, the color is amazing on her. If anyone can sell me on a shiny pink trash bag, it’s Elizabeth.

ELIZABETH BANKS at the London press conference
dress by Andrew Gn

Photo: Rex

Adorable. The best thing about her press tour wardrobe is that it always incorporates just a hint of that Effie Trinket magic. Sometimes it’s sparkles, sometimes it’s insanely bright colors, sometimes it’s girly mixed-prints, but it always feels on-point without being costumey.

JULIANNE MOORE at the London premiere
dress by Balenciaga

Photo: Dave J. Hogan/Getty

I was so excited for Jennifer and Elizabeth that I kind of forgot Julianne Moore is in this next movie. IT’S SO MANY OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE ON ONE RED CARPET, YOU GUYS. My brain is a little bit exploding. And Ms. Moore has never looked better.

JULIANNE MOORE, JENNIFER LAWRENCE, ELIZABETH BANKS, and NATALIE DORMER at the London photo call
Julianne’s dress by Dries van Noten, shoes by Aquazzura
Jennifer’s suit by Public School
Elizabeth’s dress by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Natalie’s dress by Michael van der Ham

Photo: Rex

Julianne: Gorgeous dress in a killer print; astonishingly fugly shoes. Jennifer: Classy but laid-back; killing it with the hair and the epic bitch-face. Elizabeth: The dress is right up her alley, but I’m not sold on the booties. Natalie: It is fucking impossible to find a photo where she isn’t making that ridiculous eating-a-rotten-lemon face. I love her, because anyone in Game of Thrones AND The Hunger Games is automatically beloved by the Democracy Diva, but that face is probably going to bother the shit out of me for the entire press tour.

JENA MALONE at the London premiere
gown by Emilia Wickstead

Photo: PA

That hair and lip color on her porcelain skin? Incredible. The casual, off-the-shoulder sleeves? Delicious. The skirt with pockets? Awesome. I don’t really love this dress on its own, but Jena is selling it. HARD.

NATALIE DORMER at the London premiere
gown by Nicholas Oakwell

Photo: Dave J. Hogan/Getty

1) STOP IT WITH THAT FACE. 2) This is two dresses, not one, and I’m pretty sure both of them are hideous.

LIAM HEMSWORTH at the London premiere
suit by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: Dave J. Hogan/Getty

Yum. Not life-changingly fascinating, but yum.

JOSH HUTCHERSON at the London premiere
suit by Ralph Lauren, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Dave J. Hogan/Getty

Cute. He wears that cobalt color incredibly well.

SAM CLAFLIN at the London premiere
jacket and pants by Prada

Photo: Dave J. Hogan/Getty

WHO DID THIS TO FINNICK ODAIR AND WHEN CAN I MURDER THEM?

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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The Mockingjay Press Tour: now featuring indisputable proof that Jennifer Lawrence is a huge Democracy Diva fan. 

JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the Los Angeles premiere
dress by Christian Dior, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Aquazzura

Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage

Bow down, bitches: J.Law wore my red carpet prediction for her! She shortened the hem of the stunning Dior couture gown I knew she’d wear, and made it premiere-appropriate rather than Oscars-ready. So let’s call this a victory for both Jennifer Lawrence and the Democracy Diva. J.LAW READS MY BLOG, YOU GUYS. THAT IS OBVIOUSLY WHAT THIS OUTFIT MEANS.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the Los Angeles premiere after-party
jacket and dress by Altuzarra

Photo: Rex

Sexy and hip; fun and cool. Overall, perfect for an after-party. I think the combo of the cut-out maxidress and that sharp blazer is absolutely fantastic. 10/10 would wear.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE on The Colbert Report
jacket and dress by David Koma for Mugler, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Rex

That giggle. That jacket. WHY IS SHE SO PERFECT, YOU GUYS.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE on Late Show with David Letterman
dress by Antonio Berardi, sunglasses by Oliver Peoples

Photo: instyle.co.uk

I hereby request that every starlet follow in J.Law’s footprints and turn her multiple TV appearances for a big movie into a Blazer Tour of America.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE on Good Morning America
coat by Burberry, dress by Ulla Johnson, sunglasses by Oliver Peoples, shoes by Aquazzura

Photo: instyle.com

This dress is a little low-key – it looks fantastic for street style, but I’m not sure how well it would read on television. However, her coat game continues to be unstoppable, and her sunglasses are the shit, so I’m still on board.

ELIZABETH BANKS at the Los Angeles premiere
gown by Leonard, purse by Rauwolf, shoes by Roger Vivier

Photo: Gregg DeGuire/WireImage

This dress is a work of art, and only made more amazing by the fact that Elizabeth Banks is the one inside it. I’m still uncertain about the hair – I can’t decide if it makes her look like a windswept little boy or not – but those mega-dramatic statement shoes were a risk worth taking. Three movies in, and Ms. Banks is still using enough print, color, and generally unstoppable-fierceness to make Effie Trinket proud.

ELIZABETH BANKS at the Berlin press event
gown by Saint Laurent, purse by Lee Savage, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Ralf Harde/Future Image/WENN

Still gorgeous as can be, though a little more traditional than her usual fashion-forward ensembles. But I’m glad she saved the real drama for the LA premiere, and played it a little bit safer at the Berlin press call.

JULIANNE MOORE at the Los Angeles premiere
gown and shoes by Tom Ford

Photo: Gregg DeGuire/WireImage

Yes. Love. Best. Want. Other words of support and encouragement so that Julianne Moore will dress like Velma Kelly from Chicago ALL THE TIME, PLEASE.

JENA MALONE at the Los Angeles premiere
gown by Emanuel Ungaro, purse by Jill Milan

Photo: Rex

Again, it’s a bit more conventional than what she usually wears, but I can’t pretend I don’t love this fire-engine red on her. Particularly with the not-quite-matching red lips and red hair. It’s so much clashing that it makes the turn back around to fabulous.

NATALIE DORMER at the Los Angeles premiere
gown by Rochas

Photo: PA

A surprising choice of dress, though not a bad one. I just didn’t expect to see Natalie in something so Elle Fanning-esque. It’s a shame she’s still making that “eating a lemon out of the side of my mouth” face, which ensures I will never be able to take her even remotely seriously.

WILLOW SHIELDS at the Los Angeles premiere
gown by Christian Siriano, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

Little Prim really turned it up at this premiere – she’s 14, which is practically middle-aged in Hollywood, so she’s finally dressing like the star she’s going to be. She also happens to have chosen the gown I predicted Christina Hendricks would wear; somehow, I love it as much on Willow in real life as I did on Christina in my imagination. It’s not every gown that works as well for a voluptuous almost-40-year-old as it does for a tween, so three cheers for Christian Siriano, who really does design for all kinds of women.

JESSICA SIMPSON at the Los Angeles premiere
vintage gown, jewelry by Neil Lane, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo, shoes by Prada

Photo: Max DeAngelo/Pacific Coast News

I didn’t even know Jessica Simpson was still doing things. But based on her outfit, I can only assume it will always be 2003 to dear Jessica. Honestly, this is pretty good compared to most of her red carpet looks, but that’s an astonishingly low bar to pass.

META GOLDING at the Los Angeles premiere
gown by Rani Zakhem, purse by Heather Offord, shoes by Ryan Haber

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

Would have scored much higher if it weren’t for the matching bridesmaid shoes. Those are just atrocious.

ASHLEE SIMPSON at the Los Angeles premiere
gown by Cengiz Abazoglu, purse by Swarovski, shoes by Rene Caovilla

Photo: Jen Lowery/Splash News

Don’t ask me what the hell Ashlee Simpson was doing at the Mockingjay premiere. I’m much more concerned with why her dress appears to be making a run for it. Is that fabric scrambling to get away from her, or is that just me?
—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Season’s greetings, bitches!  Welcome to the annual celebration of all things fabulous on the red carpet.

One-Hit Wonders:
KAT DENNINGS, UZO ADUBA, and KAROLINA KURKOVA

KAT DENNINGS in Rubin Singer; UZO ADUBA in Christian Siriano; KAROLINA KURKOVA in Marchesa

Achievement in Menswear:
EDDIE REDMAYNE

EDDIE REDMAYNE in Hardy Amies, Burberry Prorsum, Alexander McQueen, and Burberry

Rookies of the Year:
AMAL CLOONEY and LIZZY CAPLAN

AMAL CLOONEY in Dolce & Gabbana, Stella McCartney, Oscar de la Renta, and Giambattista Valli

LIZZY CAPLAN in Donna Karan, Valentino, and Emilio Pucci

Achievement in Maternity Wear:
ZOE SALDANA

ZOE SALDANA in Christian Dior, Preen, Lanvin, and Valentino

Red Carpet Risk-Takers:
JENA MALONE and SOLANGE KNOWLES

JENA MALONE in Emilio Pucci, Valentino, Emanuel Ungaro, and Reem Acra

SOLANGE KNOWLES in Christopher Kane, H&M, Acne, and Tata Naka

Most Enviable Street Style:
TAYLOR SWIFT

TAYLOR SWIFT in Novis, Suno, Cynthia Steffe, and Aqua

TAYLOR SWIFT in ModCloth, Miu Miu/Topshop, Asos, and Equipment

Best Dressed, Teen Edition:
KIERNAN SHIPKA

KIERNAN SHIPKA in Tory Burch, Antonio Berardi, Giambattista Valli, and Michael Kors

KIERNAN SHIPKA in Preen, Bottega Veneta, Peter Pilotto, and Marni

Fabbest Girls Next Door:
EMMA STONE, JENNIFER LAWRENCE and EMMA WATSON

EMMA STONE in Valentino, Chanel, and Atelier Versace

EMMA STONE in Brock, Prada, and Valentino

JENNIFER LAWRENCE in Christian Dior, Tom Ford, and Jason Wu

JENNIFER LAWRENCE in Christian Dior, Altuzarra, and Christian Dior

EMMA WATSON in Misha Nonoo, Christian Dior, and Ralph Lauren

EMMA WATSON in Christian Dior, Narciso Rodriguez, and Christian Dior

Most Prolific:
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY and ELIZABETH BANKS

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY in Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, Holly Fulton, and Valentino

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY in Huishan Zhang, Chanel, Giambattista Valli, and Valentino

ELIZABETH BANKS in McQ, Monique Lhuillier, Jenny Packham, and Leonard

ELIZABETH BANKS in Roland Mouret, Peter Pilotto, Chloé, and Elie Saab

Best Dressed:
LUPITA NYONG’O and CATE BLANCHETT

LUPITA NYONG’O in Calvin Klein, Christian Dior, and Gucci

LUPITA NYONG’O in Miu Miu, Ralph Lauren, and Prada

CATE BLANCHETT in Armani Privé

CATE BLANCHETT in Armani Privé, Ralph Lauren, and Valentino

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Welcome to Bracket #3, judgmental bitches! Let your voices be heard. 

JESSICA CHASTAIN vs. COCO ROCHA

Jessica in Prada; Coco in Roberto Cavalli

Jessica: Psh. Models.

Coco: Pardon me? Do you have a problem with models?

Jessica in Prada; Coco in Christian Siriano

Jessica: As a rule, I have a problem with no one, the better to maintain my perfect angelic grown-up Disney princess persona. But…

Coco: Spit it out, Red.

Jessica in Giorgio Armani; Coco in Zac Posen

Jessica: You wear clothes FOR A LIVING! Like, on a runway! I thought you’re supposed to be ineligible to compete in the Olympics if you’re a professional.

Coco: Sorry, bitch. Even in my third trimester, I’m a walking Zac Posen ad. Deal with me.

Jessica in Mary Katrantzou; Coco in Versace

Jessica: I cannot even, and will not even, deal with you. Good day.

Coco: Whatever. I’m getting cheese fries.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL vs. OLIVIA PALERMO

Maggie in Roland Mouret; Olivia in Chloé

Maggie: Well, we might as well get this shit over with.

Olivia: Indeed. Let the battle of the hipsters begin!

Maggie in Valentino; Olivia in Valentino

Maggie: Hipster? I’m not a hipster.

Olivia: Um, are you kidding? Have you seen you?

Maggie in Miu Miu; Olivia in Carolina Herrera

Maggie: Well, obviously, but –

Olivia: You’re such a hipster, you’re basically Zooey Deschanel’s ukelele.

Maggie in Dolce & Gabbana; Olivia in Burberry Prorsum

Maggie: Fine. I’d rather be that than wear a belt AROUND my scarf. What could even have possessed you to do that?

Olivia: Just my normal diet of celery and cocaine, I guess.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE vs. LUCY LIU

Jennifer in Dior; Lucy in Stella McCartney

Jennifer: Are there nipples on your dress? I’m pretty sure I see nipples on your dress.

Lucy: Oh! Um, well, yes, I suppose there are.

Jennifer in Altuzarra; Lucy in Proenza Schouler

Jennifer: Respect.

Lucy: Uh… thank you, I guess?

Jennifer in Dior; Lucy in Zuhair Murad

Jennifer: Tell me the truth – does it look like those mockingjay wings are growing right out of my head?

Lucy: Now that you mention it, yes. Yes, it does.

Jennifer in Jason Wu; Lucy in Vivienne Westwood

Jennifer: Cool. Thanks for your honesty. You’re a true friend.

Lucy: You are a really strange person.

DIANE KRUGER vs. OLIVIA WILDE

Diane in Giamba; Olivia in Stella McCartney

Diane: Hello, Olivia! Or as I like to think of you, “the poor man’s American version of me.”

Olivia: Hey, fuck you, lady.

Diane in Chanel; Olivia in Roksanda

Diane: Oh, was that insulting? I thought someone such as yourself would be honored to have your name associated with mine.

Olivia: Just because you’re married to Pacey doesn’t mean you get to act like such a self-righteous bitch.

Diane in Donna Karan; Olivia in Mollie Parnis

Diane: Oh, I was a self-righteous bitch long before Joshua Jackson was in the picture.

Olivia: Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.

Diane in Emilia Wickstead; Olivia in Michael Kors

Diane: Anyway, congratulations on your new baby! I hope it looks like its father.

Olivia: And I hope Pacey dumps you for Katie Holmes.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2015.
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